Sunday, July 23, 2017


"One's life,....cannot both be faith-filled and stress free.....Therefore, how can you and I really expect to glide naively through life as if to say, "Lord, give me experience, but not grief, not sorrow, not pain, not opposition, not betrayal, and certainly not to be forsaken.  Keep from me, Lord, all those experiences which made The what Thou art!  Then let me come and dwell with The and fully share The Joy!......Real required to endure this necessary but painful developmental process."
(-Elder Neal A. Maxwell (1926-2004) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, May 1991)

My goodness, this blog has taken a serious turn, hasn't it?  I just can't get a few things off of my mind lately, chief among them the idea of opposition.  The idea that the good (easy) and the bad (difficult) experiences in life so often come hand in hand.  And the idea that their close proximity in our lives makes the one all the sweeter and the other mostly bearable.

I think for most of my life I truly believed that if I was a good enough person life would be easy for me and bad things wouldn't happen.  And, for the most part, I've had a pretty idyllic, sheltered life to support that conclusion.  

That's why when things occasionally took a turn for the worse, as a result of my own poor choices or just by "random chance" (if such a thing exists), I went straight to a place of devastation.  "Why is this happening to me?" I cried. Or I prayed, "Please, make it stop." All I could ever think in those dark times was that I just desperately wanted it all to go away because I didn't deserve it.  I was too good a person to be suffering.  And in that state all I could see was darkness.  I felt so alone, though I never truly was.

The good thing about those dark times is that we can't help but emerge from them wiser.  I can see so clearly now how those difficult times have been, and continue to be, for my growth.  As I look to my future now, fully expecting to be challenged, I can see more than just the darkness.  I can see glowing goodness and happiness all along the way--the sweetness that I would never have known before I tasted the bitter.  And, because of those glowing times, I can see, though vaguely at times, that I'm not alone.  And that soon, when the time is right and I've learned all I need to learn at the moment, I will emerge into the full light of the sun once more.

Life is hard, and yet so exquisitely wonderful at the very same time.

In other news.....

* I've got a house full of sick kids.  Lexi is still sick and now Curtis is sick too.  Everyone is sneezing and coughing and miserable.  Why I haven't caught it yet is beyond me.  I'm hoping I don't get it.  (Wouldn't that be a change??!!!).  Needless to say, I stayed home from church today.  First because I still can't get past going alone.  It's gonna take time.  Second, because I work all week when my kids are home sick they pretty much are on their own because their dad can't do for them like he use to, plus he is in a lot of pain right now.  So, I try to make up for my time away when I can on the weekends and nights.  Sure, these two kids are adults and Curtis likes to tell me that all the time, but I know they still need their Mom from time to time.  Especially when they don't feel well.  

* Curtis is all sun burnt after his trip tubing down the river yesterday.  He is bright red!  His one friend got so burnt she had blisters and ended up in the Emergency room.  I told Curtis overcast days are the absolute worst days to be out in the sun because you don't realize you are getting burnt as much.  Well, by Monday when Curtis has to wear socks, shoes, long pants, and a thicker shirt he is going to feel it.  He says he used sunscreen, but I doubt it.  Crazy kid!

* About two weeks ago Curtis and his neighbor friend were out riding long boards.  Well, let me give you some background first...the friend had a girlfriend back in high school and their break up was what I would call bad.  To the point that the friend couldn't even be in the same place she was in.  He would avoid her at all costs.  Well, Curtis decided to tease his friend and tell him he was going to invite the girl to go long boarding with them.  Well, low and behold he really did invite her and she showed up.  Well, Curtis made them talk.  While they were talking the neighbor friend let the girl know that his Mom had breast cancer and was battling it now.  Well, this girls Mom also had breast cancer a couple years ago.  Come to find out both Mom's had the exact same kind and the neighbor friend has been searching for one survivor she can talk to.  You see, the neighbor friend hasn't been able to find a single survivor.  I guess this type of breast cancer is so aggressive that it comes back or moves to other parts of your body and has a history of taking the lives of many of it's victims within five years of it's first diagnosis.  What are the odds that both of these women would have the same kind of breast cancer?  So, thank goodness Curtis was persistent and ornery enough to put these two together so they could talk and ultimately help our neighbor's Mom out and answering her prayers.  How cool is that???

* Do you remember me mentioning that I didn't feel that the people in my ward cared for me?  I think hey tolerate me, but I'll never be someone they turn to for anything.  I've finally figured out why, or at least portion of it.  I'm being shunned.  And it's not even by everyone in the ward it's only a handful.  It's because in their eyes I'm not as "good" as they are, or because when I get upset and taken advantage of I sometimes speak my mind.  Do I regret that I've opened my mouth, of course I have.  Do I think other make mistakes too?  Of course I do.  So, I've decided that if they want to keep track of my activity or inactivity at church (mind you, I'm not leaving Kevin alone right now, especially after his last pain doctor appointment.  And I've got sick kids that either can't help their dad out, or heir dad can't help them right now.  So I'm home today, and have been sick myself and was home on those days as well......So, if they want to keep track and hold that against me let them.  Shun away!  If that's what makes you feel better about yourself, by all means go for it.  Do I know where I should be???   Of course I do.  Do I want to be there?  Well, honestly yes and no.  Will I be there?  Of course I will.  Do I think you're being petty?  Absolutely!!!  So, go a head, remind me I'm on the inactive list.  Frankly, I think I have a pretty good excuse.  Trying to keep an eye on my husband so he doesn't do something to harm himself is more important right now.  Yes, I am afraid of where his head is at after that last appointment, and I'm very concerned.  Do I think he'd really do something?  I really hope not.  But I'm not the one in constant pain either.  So, your reminders of my church activity or lack  there of, are not going to make me change the way I do things.  I'm sorry.  They just aren't.  So if you feel you need to shun me because I sin differently than you do then you can just go for it!!!  Have at it!  Enough said.

Well, I need to get going.  Take care and we will talk again soon.  

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Saturday, July 22, 2017

Will Wonders Never Cease?

I have found that when it rains in life, it pours.  I've learned this lesson the hard way - through a barrage of (thankfully, no more than what they've been so far) trials and challenges.  This week has proven that the same principle holds true for the blessings in life, too.

First, I needed help navigating through the world of Schmidt family finances and had to enlist the help of my Heavenly Father who was there every step of the way! Even though I knew He could have left me to fend for myself and not helped at all.  I'm so very grateful for all the help I received, because I would have never made it through without His help.  And my parents help too.  I was really trying to not ask them for help, but I couldn't have gotten through without it.  Thank you, thank you, Mom and Dad.

Then on the flip side of the incredible help, we've been "hit" with another trial.  Let me explain.  A while back Kevin had to find a new pain specialist.  Well, it's taken us several months to find one.  Keep in mind, the entire time we have been looking Kevin has been without pain medication which is never good.  Well, yesterday he had his first appointment with the new doctor.  Up until this point Kevin's been in a lot of pain and when the weather changes the pain intensifies.  When he got to the doctor's office his blood pressure was through the roof!  Which meant the pain was out of control.  Keep in mind, Kevin has never had high blood pressure and his normal level is like 117/80.  He has awesome blood pressure except when he is in pain.  His reading at the new pain doctor's office was 150/95, which is out of control for him.  (It's been higher)  It gets better.....remember, it's been raining a lot over the past couple of days, so it was all Kevin could do to get himself to this appointment.  He had his mind set on receiving, and looking forward to a little relief in the form of some kind of pain medication.  At least enough to get him through to whatever plan of treatment the doctor had in store.  Well, the doctor came in, talked with him for all of three minutes, and told Kevin there was nothing he could do for him.   He told Kevin that he needed to go back to our primary care doctor for a referral to a surgeon to have a pain pump implanted.  Kevin was devastated!!  After his last surgery, which caused his paralysis, he vowed to NEVER have surgery again!  Frankly, I don't blame him.  The surgery to implant the pain pump would require the doctor to thread a catheter through his spinal column in order for the pump to distribute medication directly to the location of his pain.  Talk about revisiting the "scene of the crime"!!!!  How on Earth do they expect this man to trust another surgeon to go back into his spinal column to do another procedure????.....when the last "Yahoo"  ((so called surgeon) caused his current condition and left him paralyzed for the rest of his life??!!!  Can you imagine what must be going through Kevin's head right now?  He's scared to death, and frankly I can't blame him!!!!  I'm scared too.  Just the thought of another surgery has caused some PTSD issues to take place in our home since his last surgery.  Now, that another doctor has suggested it, Kevin is in full blown freak out mode here.

Kevin text me while I was at work as soon when he was done with his appointment. I called him back right away and he told me what the doctor said but I could tell he was upset and he said we could talk about it more when I got home from work.  When I got home we talked and Kevin told me about what the doctor said and that the doctor was in the room for less than three minutes, I called our primary care doctors office and set up an appointment with the actual doctor, and not the physicians assistants we normally see.  I can count on one hand the number of times we've actually seen the doctors in that office in the fifteen plus years we've been going there.  The assistants have always been amazing.  In fact, it was an assistant that caught Lexi's heart problem.  Although lately through my whole sickness and hives ordeal it seemed like they were slipping.  In fact, I was contemplating a switch to a new doctor because they just seemed off or something.  Their office was having issues with their computer system and it seems as though once they had to jump through all the hoops for Obama Care their ability to really treat patients as people started to change.  Also my doctor's office could have tested me for allergies, they give the shots right there in the office too, but they didn't and instead they referred me to a dermatologist.  I set up the appointment with an allergist all on my own.  So, we aren't taking any chances with Kevin.  He needs help and we need to know if there are other options, because I don't know if Kevin can go through surgery again.  He's been through so much already.  Kevin told me about a month ago, before this pain pump stuff, that he is hoping to be able to take a little family trip sometime soon.  I told him we will see, because our trip to Montana for the open house for Danielle  and Chance, is complete blur to Kevin.  That was when he said, "Sondra, I don't intend to live out the rest of my days like this.  This has got to get better.  He said if it doesn't",....and we will leave it at that.  I can't even go there.  So, I am hoping this pain pump ordeal will turn out to be a blessing in disguise and bring about the quality of life change Kevin is so desperately looking for.  I know he has so much more to do, and experience.  I refuse to believe this is how it's  going to be.  It just can't be.  Kevin just happens to be one of those strong spirits with the ability and determination to change the world.  He's been that influence for good many times in he past, and I know he will be that influence again.  I've had a front row seat to these things and I'm holding out that we will all see it again.  He just needs a little hope, and a little help to get there again.  (Your prayers would be appreciated).

I've pondered our situation over the past few days and wondered why it has to be all one or the other.  Torrential rain or none whatsoever.  Why can't the good times just be peppered here and there with a few trials.  I've come to the conclusion that life is probably a pretty good mix of good and bad MOST of the time.  I just think that right now I have to actively look for the good things.  It's definitely something I have to work at because the bad seem to hit me pretty hard and have taken the wind out of my sails, so to speak.  I will admit I'm really trying to focus on the sunshine, not the clouds.  I've had to make it a concious effort and sometimes I have to pray for help to see the sunshine some days.  With my efforts, and the help of a loving Heavenly Father, I'm just lucky enough to see the sun.  Or maybe I'm just not strong enough to deal with this "grand scale", life altering trials all at once right now.  (Baby steps)  Whatever it is, I'm grateful for a few days of sunshine.

In other news.....

* All week I've told the kids I need their help with a few things around the house.  Well, last night Curtis came home and asked if he could go tubing down the river with his friend.  You see, this friend is in the Marines in the infantry and is about to be deployed to Syria.  So, anytime this young man comes in to town they all try to spend time with him because he quite possibly could not come back from this deployment.  How can I say no to that?   Why he choose to become a Marine and the infantry is beyond me.  This kid is the same age as Curtis.  I can only imagine what this kids parents are going through and the young man as well.  Talk about scary!

*. Lexi is starting to feel a little better after being sick with a really good cold.  She's limited to what she can take because of her heart, so I couldn't give her the Advil Cold and Sinus that helps to open things up so well, so she's been taking Bendryl.  Last night I found a box of Mucinex tucked in a pocket of my purse.  I gave her one and this morning she says she is feeling better.  I'm glad.  I hate it when Lexi is sick.  

*. I've got a few errands to run and a lot to do around the house so I'll be in and out a lot.  I'm hoping to get a lot done.  I'm also hoping the humidity does not play a factor in making it miserable to get everything done.  It usually makes it hard for me to breathe so my rescue inhaler will be close by at all times.  Arg!  Darn asthma.  It could be worse though.  I'm starting to see how the allergy drops are starting to work.  I've noticed the dark circles under my eyes are starting to disappear a little.  I've also noticed that if I don't take my drops in the morning and take them in the afternoon when I get home they aren't as helpful with my asthma issues in the mornings.  I'll have to ask a out that the next time I see the doctor.  

That's about it for our family today.  Take care and we will talk again soon.  

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Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Odds and Ends

First, Want a super simple, super easy recipe?  I'm making this tonight.  Its from, a new favorite recipe site of mine.  If you try it let me know what you think.  We will be trying it just the way the recipe says to serve it, but I bet this would make yummy burritos too.

Easy Southwest Chicken

  • 1 can cream of chicken soup
  • 1 jar salsa
  • 5 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
Mix soup and salsa together. Pour over chicken breasts in greased slow cooker. Cook on low heat 6-8 hours. Shred chicken and stir in with sauce. Serve over hot rice. Sprinkle with shredded cheddar cheese, add a dollop of sour cream and some chopped green onions. So easy!

Second, Have you ever had the opportunity to be around children from the ages of 18 months to three years of age.  I have.  What always surprises me are those little ones that say thank you after you change their diaper.  Whenever this happens it makes me think about all the diapers I've changed in my adult life and no one has ever thanked me for doing that before, least of all the helpless child whose diaper I was changing.  Then I thought about how profoundly grateful I would be, tables turned, which I never before considered and I saw my role in a whole new light.  How many mundane, thankless tasks of motherhood are my children grateful for, but they just don't even know to say anything because what I do is all they really know?  They don't know how much worse life could be if I stopped doing those things.  And I'm glad they don't because that means that I'm doing my job.  Maybe not perfectly, but enough to really make a difference.  I kinda wish I had this little "a-ha" moment 20 years ago.  Oh well.  That's what my kids get for not saying thanks once in a while.  Ha Ha.

Third,  I truly believe the Lord knows when you're doing the very best you can and He picks up your slack wherever possible.  Such was the case this week.  I was stressing once I saw my paycheck and the amount.  They took a giant chunk out of it to pay back some of the insurance premiums I missed while I was out sick.  I wasn't expecting that.  Pretty much ALL of our bills still needed to be paid and that chunk sent our family budget into a tailspin.  I thought for sure we were going to end up sitting here with no lights, no water, no food, no car, no car insurance, no Internet, no medication, no way to pay our house payment, and if I couldn't get to work, I would ultimately lose my job because of it all.  I was stressing big time.  This was one of those times when I literally cried myself to sleep several days in a row as I agonized and stressed over not having enough money to pay the bills,.... even after doing everything I could and working full-time.  I prayed and prayed to my Heavenly Father for guidance and direction.  And then, once I calmed down I started making a few phone calls over the next couple of days.  I called the water company and made new arrangements to pay my $489 (for one month) bill today.  Then I called and made arrangements with another company to give them half now and half at the end of the month.  I paid a portion of our car insurance as soon as I got the check but it wasn't enough and I had to do the full amount yesterday otherwise they weren't going to renew our policy.  I had already made arrangements to pay our house payment today.  Then there were all the other smaller bills.  I made arrangements with my allergist for tomorrow but I'm going to have to put that off until the end of the month since everything else had to be paid now.  I don't have a choice.  I know my Heavenly Father knows I'm doing the very best that I can do and I'm just glad he prompted me to call the water company to change the arrangements I previously had set up.  They did a one time courtesy change of my previous arrangement.  Normally they would just consider my change as broken arrangements and they wouldn't let me make any arrangements for the rest of the year, but what do you do when your water bill is $679.00 and $489.00 is the past due amount?  It because of the giant dumpster we rented and then while that was here at the house we had to drain the pool and fill it back up again.  Talk about a double whammy!  Then I also made arrangements with the other company.  I didn't think they'd make any kind of arrangements either, but they did.  The house payment was a little late too.  I did have to reach out to my parents for a loan too.  They've been letting me borrow about $300-$350 a month for the past several months while we are playing catch up.  I'm so glad they can do this right now because it has really helps me out.  I usually pay them back within about two to three weeks.  Once in a while my dad just says don't worry about paying them back and that is humbling and oh so helpful.  My dad seems to know when things are a little crazy for us and I appreciate my parents help a lot.  So we didn't lose lights, and we still have water, and we have a roof over our heads, and we will be able to eat.  And I know my Heavenly Father was very much a part of every detail and I am so very grateful for His help.  We still aren't completely back to normal yet, but we are closer and that is a very good thing!  "By small and simple things are great things brought to pass." And my kids GET it.  I must be living right.  

Fourth, Kevin had the first of his many many appointments Monday afternoon.  He has another one coming up in the next day or two.  For some reason, as I was filling out all the forms and asking Kevin a couple questions about how he's feeling right now, I couldn't help but remember back to a time when Kevin was having one of his back surgeries and the nurse came in with paperwork that needed to be signed.  The hospital wanted to see a copy of Kevin's medical power of attorney and his living will, so I brought that all in.  Kevin has always teased about the kids pulling the plug on him even if he had a simple hang nail.  Well, this trip to the hospital I thought it would be funny to tell the nurse that I had made my peace and I was ready to pull the plug on my dear husband.  You know kind of like that scene in Talladega Nights.  To me, hilarious.  To Kevin, at any other moment, hilarious.  To Kevin while in the hospital that time and the nurse, not so much.  Is that in bad taste?  Is it an unwritten rule like not joking about carrying a concealed weapon in an airport now a days?  

I don't know what came over me that day.  I think I tend to freak out just a little bit when Kevin is not acting like himself.  The whole universe seems somehow off kilter when he is not trying to make me laugh about ridiculous things.  I'm the serious, quiet one most of the time in this relationship.  Me!  Not Kevin.  Me!  So when he is I'll or down or whatever I tend to compensate by taking on his role as family buffoon.  (And I really do mean that in the nicest possible way - I married that big old buffoon for all eternity did I not?). I make inappropriate jokes and do silly dances in a feeble attempt to restore the balance in my world.  Besides, I just have to let you all know that Kevin been stealing my shtick for years now.  I'm the real funny one around here.  I just let him take all the credit.  Whatever.  I'm humble like that.  

Anyway, that day in the hospital, all it took was a little shot of morphine and suddenly everything was as it should be again.  It almost made me wish we weren't LDS because Kevin is a fun, entertaining guy in a chemically-altered state.  I chuckle at the memory of it.  

Fifth, I learned what hemp oil is used for today.  Who knew it could help nerve pain, migraines, stress, and a whole slew of other things.  And it can be purchased on Amazon because it doesn't have the same things marijuana has in it.  (I forget the initials of the ingredient).  Anyway, that's something to think about.  Little did I know this, but Kevin has already checked into this.  Especially on how our church views hemp oil.  He said the church has acknowledged the healing properties of it when they can separate out the parts that get you high, but until they say it's okay he will not touch it.  I'm so proud of him for not letting go of his beliefs even when he is in so much pain.  I know it can't be easy.  I love that man!

Sixth, Oh my goodness, some people are pushing or maybe they are just impatient.  Especially those going through brand new stresses in their lives.  Holy cow!  All week this one person has been causing us all to step back and ask ourselves and each other if we've noticed this person's behavior and to chuckle a bit at the behavior too.  To be fair, this person is going g through a lot right now and I think (and hope) they just aren't aware of how they are coming off to the rest of us.  Sheesh!  So, with this person's stresses in mind, we are just cutting them a little slack because we all need that once in a while, right?!?

Seventh, Lexi is sick.  I came home from work yesterday and she was complaining of a sore throat and a runny nose.  She didn't eat dinner so I got a smooth for her but she hasn't touched it.  (It's in the freezer for her).  She's sad because today was the mutual trip to tube down the Salt River.  This trip happens every year in our ward and all the kids look forward to it.  This was going to be her last tubing trip.  Sadness.  So, if Lexi isn't a little better by tomorrow I'll be making a doctor's appointment for her.  We can't mess around with her being sick with her heart. 

Eight, I didn't even get to see the boys today when I got home from work.  They were already gone on one of their adventures.  Crazy kids.

Ninth, I still can't eat or speak with my braces.  You should have saw me trying to get my lips around my braces to sing a hymn on Sunday during Sacrament.  It was awful!  I will say this, for the notes I actually got out my tone was okay.  I've noticed I do a lot more diapham singing with my braces on.  That's one good thing.  

Tenth, It's quiet at home tonight.  Not even the dogs are up.  Kevin is watching a show on Hulu.  I'm typing away.  And Lexi and the dogs are fast asleep.  It's weird when it's quiet here, but I don't mind it most of the time.  Once in a while I go a little stir crazy and need to get out, but not often.  Besides, these quiet moments give me time to think about my wall in the family room.  I still need to go spend the $5.00 for paint, but I'm waiting.  Maybe I'll do some painting this weekend.  Time will tell.  

And there you have it...that's what's on my brain tonight.  Just thought I'd share.  

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Monday, July 17, 2017

Top Ten

Hey all!  Another month has come and gone (well, almost) and you all know what that means......

JULY 2017

10.  Danielle and Chance have been looking for a house to rent.  They found one that is pretty close to us and they put in their application and we have our fingers crossed that they will get it.  Well, as soon as they decided to start looking Danielle announced to me that if they can they intend to take her dog with them.  This is huge!  Bentley really misses his Mom. It's going to hard to see him leave us.  He's been here since he was just a puppy and he's a really good dog.  We love him and we will miss him.  
9.  Lunch dates.  Is there anything more wonderful than meeting someone for lunch?  Husband, girlfriends, kids, parents, I don't care.  The food is cheaper, the restaurants less crowded, and,in my opinion, the sun shines just a little bit brighter when you're done.  I live for the occasional lunch date.  Life never seems quite as good as it does over lunch with the people that you love.
8. Kyle's dog actually barked.  He use to try really hard to bark, and he sounded so pitiful.  Then the other day he actually did it!  We were all surprised.  It was awesome.  He's a big mean pit bull that loves people.  Then whenever he hears a noise he comes running to us.  He's supposed to be protecting us and we end up protecting him.  How funny is that???  He's a sweet dog and we love him. 
7.  Curtis spoke in church today and then right after he spoke his friend sent him a text while he was still sitting on the stand and told him to leave.  I couldn't believe it.  First that Curtis was texting while sitting on the stand and Second that he left the stand while another speaker was just starting to speak and without telling anyone and never went back.  He,also exited the chapel through the side door that leads to outside.  I was mortified when he shared this with us.  He was too.  How rude is that?  I was so disappointed with him.  Then when he came home he talked his little sister into going to the singles ward for the first time and promised to come pick her up.  (Curtis ended up going to another ward with the friend who told him to leave the stand)  So, Lexi got her hair all fixed and it looked really pretty.  Then her big brother text me asking if I could drop Lexi off at the ward building instead of him coming to pick her up.  By then Lexi was really annoyed and decided she wasn't going.  I told Curtis that Lexi just needed her big brother to walk in with her for the first time and he bailed on her.  I was even more disappointed with him because he kept bugging Lexi to go and then he bailed on her when his friend had a better offer.  So frustrating!  I was not amused at all!
6.  PSSSSTTT!!!!!  I've saved $387.89 using my Savings Catcher App on my phone.  I love that because I am not a coupon clipper.  I tried doing the AdSense when it was all the craze a few years back but it would stress me out trying to keep track of prices and coupons and stores to shop.  I seriously had a tiny anxiety attack while standing in the checkout lines.  I loved the savings and the thought of getting an entire cart full of groceries for less than $20 but I cannot handle all the stress.  So, I can only imagine how stressed out I'd be if I were to try that again now.  Holy Moly!  Not this girl.  I'll stick with shopping ads and using my Savings Catcher.  That seems to work best for me right now.  
5.  Kevin had the first of many appointments today and one of the questions they had for him was does he use illegal drugs and has he tried medical marijuana?  To which Kevin said no to both.  Then there was a little discussion about if Arizona has legalized medical marijuana.  Kevin, of course, gave them the run down on it.  Then he said he can't be on medical marijuana and be under the care of a pain doctor.  He failed to mention that he will NEVER be able to take medical marijuana as long as it's a word of wisdom issue.  That man!  If he would have said it's not something he will try because of his values and beliefs they would have stopped asking.  Silly man.   (Trust me, I know my husband and he will never try it.  He may joke about it, but I know he will never do it.  1) because he values his beliefs more.  2) because I would never go get it for him.  Not this girl.  
4.  Sunday I set my alarm to go off about two hours before church started so I could do a quick load of laundry.  Well, I woke up around 5:30AM on my own, then about ten minutes before my alarm was set to go off I got really tired and was second guessing my decision to go to church.  I had even stretched out and put my head back down on my pillow.  Then something strange happened.....the fire alarm in our hallway went off.  Twice in a row!!  It's a darn good thing we don't have sprinklers in the ceiling too.  We weren't cooking or anything.  It just went off all by itself.  So, I guess that was the little nudge I needed to get me to Sacrament Meeting on Sunday.  I'm just glad the adversary didn't try to work on me to keep me from going...that happens sometimes.  I'm glad I went.  I know that's where my Heavenly Father wants me to be, but it's very difficult for me to go.  It's going to get harder when the kids are all in the singles ward in about a month, and Kevin can't go.  I dont want to go alone.  I think I may need something that forces me to go.  Sad but true.  I can't help it.  I admit it's easier to stay home and take care of my husband and things around the house or just relax while all the kids are gone sometimes.  What am I going to do in a month?  Yikes!  That thought scares me a bit.
3.  The sound of video games being played loudly at 2AM is not something I like being woke up to, especially on a work night.  My boys can play for hours.  I don't get it.  Just the sound of some of them gets to me.  How can they do that?  
2.  The severe weather alert has gone off consistently on my phone the past few days and we actually received lots and lots of rain.  So much that instead of triple digit heat it was actually in the high 90's.  That is amazing!  But the humidity is not a friend to my asthma.  I woke up and had to use hm the inhaler right away.  Thank goodness I didn't have to do a breathing treatment too.
1.  Lexi:. "Mom, our house is cluttered.  Even when it's perfectly clean I feel like it's cluttered.  I think it's because your decorating style and my decorating style are completely different".  Really?  Really?   Are you sure we just don't need a bigger house?  Hmm.  Note to self:. It's time to declutter big time!
This is what I call clutter.....
And there you have it.  A month worth of our particular brand of madness.  Hope you are all well and happy.
In other news....

I ran out of episodes of that show Fixer Upper to watch and I'm frustrated.  I want to start from scratch and redo pretty much every wall in my home, but realistically I'll stick with the wall in my family room.  I just absolutely LOVE all the ideas that show gave me and I'm ready to hop on a plane (or drive) down to Waco, Texas to visit all of their shops.  I totally understand how Joanna's obsession for all of her decor finds has turned into a full blown business.  I think a lot of us would love to do what she does.  I'm telling you, I could really enjoy that kind of thing.  So, I showed you the frames I found a while back, right.  Do you remember these?

Both are chalkboards right now, but I originally had planned to change that and put photos of the family in them, but now I just want to take the chalkboard out and hang them with a couple other old frames I've got.  I've got a super large bulky frame, another one that is slightly bigger than the ones in the pictures, and then several smaller frames.  Here's a couple of pics of what I kind of want to do.  I know, I keep changing my mind.  I can't help it.  I know I'll settle on something eventually.  

But, I think I prefer it when all the frames match like this...

Which means all the frames I painted black with now need to be painted the same color as the other white frames.  Since I have to paint again, I think I'm going to antique the black frames and make them all a little chippy and old looking.  That way they are all a little different and not to matchie matchie.  

What I really want to do is tear out all the tile and the carpet and put in hardwood floors.  Knock out a couple walls and relocate the family room and expand the kitchen too.  (That would require a LOT of money because we'd have to put in new trusses too.  I want to redo two bathrooms making the one just right  for Kevin with a special tube so he can soak in a hot bath like he use to, and redo the kitchen and add a lower counter so Kevin could use it and not have to feel like a little kid in the kitchen all the time.  I want relocate the washer and dryer to a brand new location.  Add a space for all of Kevin's wheelchairs, seats, and other paraphernalia.  Not to mention a few other things, and get this house set up better for Kevin and for me.  The kids to, but they won't be with us forever...we hope.  I'd also like to relocate the pool to the other side of the yard and make it a zero depth pool so Kevin can get in and out of it by himself.  Right now the stairs are not set up so he can get himself in and out of.  I also want a new pool pump.  One that doesn't have to run all night long in the summer.  (Our electric bill is $400 every summer because of that pool pump).  I think a pool would be a great way for Kevin to get some low impact exercise and would be great for him.  I just don't like the pool right outside my back door and it needs some work to be ready for my husband.  Kevin says it may not be able to be moved to the other side of our yard because of all kinds of things.  At this point all of this is just a pipe dream.  It's just something we think about from time to time.

I've gotta get going.  Take care my friends and we will talk to you soon.
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Saturday, July 15, 2017

Real Success

I've been thinking a lot lately about what a successful life or career looks like.  Because by all worldly standards I would say I have neither.  I have a substantial stack of unpaid medical bills sitting here on my hutch.  The paint job on the hood of my car could stand to be redone.  (It had to be repainted after Kyle got in an accident with it right after he returned home from his mission).  I need a new windshield for my car too.  The pits have all cracked  further and now my windshield  looks more like a road map.  (We don't have glass coverage with our insurance)  The four of us reduced down to one bathroom since Kevin has pretty much  taken over the other one since his SCI.  He needs a special seat.  Our so called "fancy" dinners out once in a while have been reduced down to anything you can order through a clown mouth, is on the dollar menu, and can be taken home.  It gets super "fancy" now when we put our strict dollar-menu-only rule on hold for one night once in a blue moon.  In fact we celebrated our 29th wedding anniversary with burgers from Whataburger and a hug.  Although, I do have a proper job, but I haven't gone as far as getting my series 7, 66, 9 or 10 licenses yet.  And I'm not looking to do that anytime soon either.  (Maybe down the road someday). Where would I find the time to study?

Now, I'm not sharing these dirty little secrets with you to garner your sympathy.  I certainly don't feel like you should pity me (though you might feel inclined).  There's not one thing I've mentioned that I wouldn't gladly change if I had the good fortune to do so.  Except the job thing - I could become quite happily unemployed if we ever became independently wealthy.  (Not that I ever expect that to happen).  I only mention these things because I'm learning in these lean times that my financial situation does not define who I am.  Although, our situation has defined who we are to some friends and even some family. (Sad but very true). These conditions don't exist because we are lazy or because we are careless with our money.  Not because we are hopeless sinners or consumed by greed.  They are what they are - conditions that exist, hopefully temporarily, in my life right now.  I'm not a failure simply because I struggle to make ends meet.  Similarly, many people aren't "successful" just because they have huge houses and huge bank accounts.  (I know of lots of wealthy people that are careless with their money, but no one cares about that unless you have very little and then they assume it's because you must be careless with money.  If only they knew how well you can stretch a dollar.)  We are all so much more than our debt-to-income ratio.

Kevin and I are the parents of four generally happy children.  (They're all officially adults now so the happiness isn't always a guarantee.  Attitude.  That's all I'm going to say). Our children come to us when they have problems or questions or personal issues.  We spend a lot of time together as a family, and for the most part we enjoy it.  Our children are bright, helpful, and kind to others.  They don't mope or feel sorry for themselves when their friends have things that we simply could never provide.  If there was something they wanted they knew we couldn't afford they usually worked hard to earn money to get it on their own.  I think our kids learned to appreciate what they had because they had to work for it.  Our kids laugh easily and forgive easily too. 

Our home is warm and inviting and generally clean, although right now it looks like a cyclone hit inside the house.  (This is what life is like with adult children sometimes).  Its not tiny, but it's not huge either.  It may not be an impressive home, but it is a haven.  It's our little corner of the world where we can let it all hang out and just be ourselves.  We feel so very blessed to our friends, and now neighbors, who found it for us when hey did and we have been here now for about seven plus years.  We are very grateful the air conditioner works, especially in the Arizona heat.  At the end of the day, what more do you really need?

I have faith in my Savior and my testimony of His gospel.  I know who I am and where I am headed.  I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and I love Him.  I also know that He will not allow me to suffer any more than is necessary for me to learn and grow and become increasingly more like Him.  With that perspective I know how to define success for me.  And I know that all the crummy things are just for now, not forEVER.  And that's alright.  I've learned through this last trial how to turn all of my burdens, struggles, and frustrations over to my Heavenly Father and I have also learned that He can do more with them than I ever dreamed possible and for that I am most grateful.  

It's been interesting these past two years.  We've come a long way.  I think the biggest thing I've  learned is that my Heavenly Father is right by my side every step of the way throughout my struggles.  I never really understood that until I quite literally felt His love for me personally and quite intensely as He helped me through so much in the most profound ways.  I know that if I could see beyond they veil He would be standing right beside me with outstretched arms ready to lead me and guide me safely through every single obstacle.  There were times as I was praying and casting my burdens at His feet that I what I really wanted was for Him to come and give me a great big hug and tell me everything was going to be all right.  It was during those times when this incredible sense of peace would come and my room would fill with light even when it was completely dark.  My tears would stop and I knew that this was from my Heavenly Father showing me just how much He loves me and was there to help me through those rough times.  

Now when I think of success I never think in worldly terms.  I think I'm successful because I have learned to not focus on the worldly things and look more to the spiritual successes (if you will).  Like the relationship I'm building with my Heavenly Father.  I've learned to think in logistical terms now.  You know, now that my husband is in a wheelchair how are we going to do certain things and how much extra equipment will we need to bring with us to do it?  I've come to appreciate others with their disabilities, especially those with disabilities that cannot be seen by the naked eye.  I've come to appreciate more than ever those people that take time out of their busy lives and schedules to do something nice for us or to stop and say hello to me or Kevin.  It means a lot to us both, especially Kevin.  The other day we received a phone call out of the blue from our old Bishop calling to check up on us.  He talked to Kevin for a bit and that put a big giant grin on Kevin's face for the rest of the day.  He's still smiling today so it was a really good thing.  Our old Bishop didn't have to do that, but it meant the world to Kevin and to me to.  It was awesome!

In other news...

We've come a long way in a short amount of time.

About six months or so ago we started a new phase of this whole paralyzed from the waist down thing, and we are going full steam a head with it.  Over the next two weeks Kevin has four "fun" appointments.  One is just a phone interview.  One is with a new pain specialist.  One is an in home evaluation.  And the last one is a four hour evaluation that will take place in Anthem.  So it will be an hour drive there and an hour drive back, and that's in good traffic.  My only concern is how well Kevin is going to do with all of it.  I'm sure he's going to be in a lot of pain.  Hence the reason for the pain specialist appointment before the big appointment in Anthem.  I'm worrying already for him.  Right now he gets up to go to he rest room, to shower, and to occasionally get after the kids and that's pretty much it.  The rest of the time he is in bed laying down because his back hurts so much.  So, we are going to have to plan ahead for those last two appointments, but we'll get through them and we are hopeful they will be especially helpful for Kevin in the end.  More to come on at. 

It seems that while Kevin seems to be getting a full work over, so have I.  I have seen my fair share of doctors lately too.  The day before yesterday I had my braces tightened.  Ooh!  They never hurt enough for me to need to take Tylenol until I tried to eat something.  They changed up the wires and went with a thicker gauge wire and did some fancy work with the bands.  They are pulling my front top four teeth together right now. My Orthodontist was thrilled with how well things were progressing with my teeth so far, so he said we are going to hit it hard now.  He wasn't kidding!  As soon as they changed the wires I could feel my teeth tighten and I even felt one slightly move.  And then after the bands were put in, things were super tight.  It's Saturday and I'm still only eating soft foods.  Ouch!

Next week I have an appointment with my cardiologist just to go over medication again.  I need a refill.  I also have another follow-up appointment with my allergist too.  So far I'm loving the drops.  They are super easy and I can take them from home.  I just need to keep them in my fridge.  I've noticed that if I miss taking them first thing in the morning I'm usually a little itchy by the afternoon and cant wait to take them.  This is what the starter kit looks like...

I keep track of my dosage with the little chart on the box top and each vial is a different phase of the drops.  Eventually I'll work up to the very last bottle and take those for two weeks.  Then I'll go back to their office for another evaluation and possibly more allergy testing to get my long term drops just right for me.  It's a good thing.  I'm especially excited to see how these drops help to improve my asthma because I'd love to get off a lot of those medications if I can eventually.  That would be awesome!  Not to mention prevent me from having more breathing related illnesses.  I'm excited!

Lexi has an Orthodontist appointment next week and she needs to go down to the school to get a few things set up for her first semester.  She missed all of this when she got sick last week.  She had some kind of stomach bug.  Poor girl.

Curtis will be speaking in another ward on Sunday.  He got a call from a member of our high council last week.  When I asked him where he didn't want to give me the ward name because he doesn't want me to go to hear him speak.  How rude is that?  He eventually told me where after I promised to not show up.  

I've made a decision.  Lately I've been watching that show called Fixer Upper with Chip and Joanna Gaines 

and I absolutely LOVE the work they do!  I"ve decided I want them to come and fix up a house for Kevin and I.  They pretty much stay around their hometown of Waco, Texas so I don't think a trip to Arizona would work for them.  

A girl can have a dream can't she???   They just seem like a lot of fun and they are just a cute couple.  Not to mention the work they do is amazing!  I tried to get Kevin to consider moving to Waco but he refused to move there with the Wacko's of Waco.  (LOL!).

(I was born in Texas so I can poke fun a little bit about my birth state)
 I just liked the house prices there.  They were finding old Victorian houses for $35,000 there.  Sure, they needed a lot of work but they were huge!  4500 square feet with four bedrooms.  Talk about a dream come true!  BUT I have to think more realistically.  We need one floor, no stairs.  We could still move there and find a really nice house for very little money.  Just a thought.  They even have a lake.  See.  I'm thinking lake front property.  Just what Kevin wanted.  Ha Ha. I have to tease him about moving to Waco a bit.  He gets a little worked up when I tease him about it. He did say we could move to Texas if we were close to The University of Texas.  You know the Longhorns.  I just laughed.  

Well, looks like we might get a storm tonight.  I'm excited.  We received a severe weather alert warning us of heavy winds of about 60 miles an hour and penny sized hail.  If we see any of that I'll be surprised.  We usually get passed over for the heavy parts of the storms most of the time.  So we shall see.

Well, I've got a few things to do around the house.  Take care and we will talk again soon.  

I found a few awesome quotes and just had to share a few....

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Wednesday, July 12, 2017

The Possibilities are Endless!!!

Good morning!

Its the start of a fresh new day.  The possibilities are endless and blessings await!  

Someone said, I don't know who and my Internet search credits several people, 

"Each day you are about as happy as you make up your mind to be."

That's the truth!  I've learned (and I'm still learning this....) that we can actually train our minds to think either negatively or positively.  If you constantly think negative thoughts, wish for what you don't have, grumble about what you do have, etc...your mind will learn that as a go-to response and you will become a sad, miserable person.  If, however, you purposely look for the good, count your blessings, and act happy even when you aren't....your mind will learn that as it's go-to to response and you won't have to act, you will be happy.

How cool is that??!!!!

So, we are counting our blessings today and taking the time to consciously be aware and take note of those blessings in my day to day life.

I find when I count my blessings and look for the daily miracles in my life I'm much happier and I find that I am abundantly blessed far beyond my wildest dreams.  

It's great!

*  I didn't have to water the lawn last night!  We only had a 10% chance of rain yesterday and Mother Nature surprised us all and blessed us with actual rain.  It's the beginning of our Monsoon season but so far we've only seen sprinkles.  So, this was a pleasant surprise.  Love it!!!  It rained and thundered and we saw lightening.  We love it when it rains like this.  I only wish it would last longer.  I guess we just need to be grateful for the rain we did receive.

*.  Confession Time:  I stepped on the scale yesterday and I was down ten pounds.  That was a wonderful surprise since the steroids I was taking, made me gain a few.  The other day when I was out talking to my neighbors the one asked if I had lost any.  At that time I didn't think I had.  Surprise.  Surprise.  Yay!  

*.  Tomorrow Danielle is coming by to pick up Lexi and take her down to the school to take a couple pre-heat or placement tests.  School starts soon.  Yay!

*.  I am grateful for the things God teaches me about myself and the things I need to work on or change.  It's good that He is patient because sometimes I'm a slow learner!

I'm grateful for Temple blessings that remind us of what's important.

*.  I'm grateful that our children enjoy talking to Kevin and I and seek out our listening ears and advice from time to time.  Sometimes it's hard to just listen.  You want to fix everything for them, but you know they have to learn and grow on their own because fixing things for them will never help them become who they are meant to be.  It's a process and sometimes it's hard to watch as a parent.  I can only imagine how our Heavenly Father must feel watching me.  (I'm sure that's frustrating and probably incredibly funny at times too.)

*  Thank you cards.  I've received my fair share of thank you cards over the years.  Some I've saved and cherish still today.  (I think it would be awesome to  find a way to display them so I  could see them everyday.  I never really realized the impact a simple thank you note could have until I read this story....

A woman who was experiencing some serious trials in life had decided to end her own life.  She had her plan all set to write a suicide note and then take a bottle of pills.  As she opened her nightstand drawer to pull out a pen and paper, she happened onto a stack of thank you notes.  She'd saved every one she'd ever received and the drawer was their home.  She picked up one of the thank you cards that had been written to her months before.  "Thank you the lovely dinner you brought me..." and then another, "Thanks for being such a great friend.  Your dinner was lovely..." and then another and another and another.  As she sat there on her bedside reading the many, many kind words said by others, appreciating her kind acts over the years, acknowledging her goodness, she was overcome with joy and peace.  After an hour or so, she completely abandoned her original idea of taking her own life and was ready to go out and face the world again. 

Who would think that something as simple as a thank you note could save a life?  Since hearing this story I've vowed to myself to keep any and all of my future thank you notes.  Not because I intend to take my own life and need them as a reminder, but because they make me feel good and I love to remember the bonds and connections that I've had with others through the years.  Well, I hadn't planned on going here today.  BUT.  Tell someone thank you today...even for something doesn't have to be a grand gesture.  They could be bringing you cake OR maybe they made your day one day when you needed it and they didn't realize how much.  Let them know that you appreciate them!

Check out this recipe....,.  (Kevin would LOVE it)

Strawberry Pie

Oatmeal Crust:

1/2 C. butter
3/4 C. flour
1 C. rolled oats
1/2 C. chopped nuts
1/4 C. sugar
Preheat oven to 400*. Melt butter and stir in next four ingredients. Mix well and pat into a 9" pie pan. Bake 12 min. or until golden brown. Cool.

Optional Cream Cheese Layer

8 oz. softened cream cheese
1 C. powdered sugar
1 C. cool whip
Mix and spread in bottom of cooled crust.

Strawberry Filling:

4 to 5 C. whole strawberries, cleaned
1 C. water
1 C. sugar
4 Tbsp. corn starch
1 small package sugar free strawberry jello

Place cleaned and dried strawberries in cooled pie crust. {If you do the cream cheese layer you will probably need fewer berries.}  Stack until nice and full. Combine sugar and cornstarch in saucepan and mix. Add water and cook until thickened and slightly clear. Add jello powder into thickened mixture until dissolved. While warm, slowly drizzle the filling over strawberries until berries are covered. Refrigerate until set. Serve with a dollop of whipped cream.

Take care my friends and we will talk again soon.
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Monday, July 10, 2017

A Meme, A Monday, and a few Rambling Thoughts

The weekend is almost over, and then it's....

Let's do a Meme.....

1. Where were you three hours ago?  
In the shower.  Exciting or what?

2. Make a confession.
#1 - I went to O'Reillys Automotive today, Sunday.  I had to.  As I mentioned yesterday, the fan for the car was staying on even after we shut off the car for an excessive amount of time.  So, I went to O'Reillys hoping they could give me some assistance with the switch.  Well, the guy came out giggled the switch and the fan stopped.  He said sometimes they get stuck.  So, if it happens again we just need to replace it.  I was so relieved!  So, technically I did not shop on Sunday but I did enlist the help of someone else who has to work on Sunday, but my ox was in the Mire and I needed help.  I agreed to work a different shift tomorrow to help my team out and I couldn't risk being late or missing work.  So, I had to get it straightened out today.
#2 - I went to the grocery store on Sunday too.  I had to.  After the issue with the car and the fan I didn't want to drive my car and Kyle's was way too hot so, I didn't go Saturday.  Plus, they still haven't figured out why I get the hives and it quite possibly be the heat too.  So I didn't take Kyle's car because it's like driving in an oven and I just can't deal with having to go through all those doctors visits and paperwork again because I have to be out for hive again.  I just couldn't do it!  Once the car issue was taken care of there were a few things Kevin needed for Monday so I went since I wouldn't be able to go again until after work today.  I'm not proud of it.  I've been trying to not do that and was doing pretty good with it and I could see the blessings each week as things seemed to fall into place a lot easier because I kept that commandment.  So, I'm a little frustrated that I HAD TO go to O'Reilly's and the grocery store now.  

3. Bad habits?  
Procrastination.  Over-analyzing pretty much everything!  Social media.  Self doubt.  Home decor items and piling things up on my coffee table...should I go on?

4. Favorite color?  For clothing I am always a sucker for shades of pink and burgundy.  BUT, lately I've really liked some of the beachy colors.  For the house I love the natural colors or the beachy blues and corals.  So my tastes are shifting a little bit.

5. Can you drive?  
Can I drive!  Of course I can.  I spend all kinds of time in my car, especially on my way to and from work.  It's a 30 minute drive one way in good traffic.

6. 3 pet peeves.  
Oh, don't get me started.
1) People who drive while talking on their cell phone and clearly should not try doing more than one thing at a time.
2) People who think they know everything about everything and are too busy to listen so they try to tell you what you are about to say, or they do not remember anything you say because they were never listening in he first place because they thought they had your situation all sized up.  (I do love it when they find out they were wrong though. That's fun to watch.)
3) When my family forgets to close and lock our security door.

7. Last person you hugged.  
My daughter.

8. Something you miss.  
I'm getting old.  I could fill a book with the things I miss or feel nostalgic about.

9. What song is stuck in your head at the moment?  
At this moment, the theme song or music to The Office.  My kids are binge watching that show.

10.  Favorite quote.

11. Favorite band.  
Oh, I don't know.  I don't have just one.  I have several.  BUT it's all mostly 80's stuff.  I would LOVE to go see U2 when they come to the valley, but realistically I don't think it's going to happen.  Sadness!

12. Something you're excited for. 
To finally be done with our friends in Maryland and to have a favorable outcome. 

13. Favorite movie.  
My family would say it's anything with Matthew McConaughey in it, but that's not true.  Lately my favorite movie is The Devil Wears Prada and he's not in that.

14. What type of phone do you have?  
Samsung Galaxy S7

15. Favorite animal.
I like ALL animals but snakes, pretty much, but I don't like them in my house.  I like our dogs but I could be very happy without any pets and Kevin agrees.  He keeps telling me that once our kids take their animals this house will become a pet free zone.  Frankly I like a dog for the security factor.  So we will see what happens.  Plus I think a pet cheers you up when you are blue.

In other news.....

- My car is working and the fan doesn't stay on anymore.  Thank goodness! Our mechanic said to top off all the fluids and then drive it around today.  So, I missed church and Curtis helped me hook the battery back up and I went for about a 10-15 minute drive alone.  When I got home the fan was still blowing.  So, we just let it run a full 30 minutes since our mechanic said it's normal in this heat for a car to run like that for about 20-30 minutes after you turn off the car especially if it's hot.  Well, after that 30 minutes it still was doing it.  So, I said a little prayer and asked Curtis to go with me to the car part store around the corner.  The guy said they couldn't run any tests on the car because they didn't have that type of equipment, but he did offer to come out and take a peak.  He then opened the switch box and giggled the one for the fan and it stopped.  He said if it does it again just come in and buy a switch to replace it.  He said sometimes they stick.  So, my prayer was answered and no major expense to the budget and if it happens again it should only cost less than $10.  Yes!

- Everyone loved the pulled pork sandwiches I finally made yesterday.  I was thrilled!  Kevin has had about a million sandwiches just by himself.  I love it because its something everyone can warm up themselves and it tastes great.  Score one for this Mom!

- Today we are making a chocolate cake with a Ganache frosting.  It's a new recipe so we are trying it out.  I'm sure it will be great!  I'm making two.  One to take to work and the other for home.  I put the one for work in the freezer so I'll thaw it out tonight and take it in on Tuesday.  It's so good!

- I put some chemicals in my pool last night and it's blue again.  Yay!  It sometimes gets green whenever there's a storm or heavy winds.  I'm just glad it was a quick fix.
Well, work about killed me today.  I had to be in a half and hour earlier than normal and that meant getting out of bed earlier too.  With my normal schedule I'm usually there in time to make this earlier shift but I didn't want to risk it.  I get to do it again tomorrow to since one of my co-workers will be out.  So, tonight I'll be taking a nap for sure just as soon as I get home.  I'm sure I'll wake up in time to water the lawn and get my things ready for work tomorrow.  
Curtis came home, ate dinner, and sat down to watch w movie and now he's sleeping.  So, I'm not sure if he's going to make it to FHE or not.  We'll see.  

So, it's nap time for me.  

Take care my friends and we will talk again soon.

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