I have found that when it rains in life, it pours. I've learned this lesson the hard way - through a barrage of (thankfully, no more than what they've been so far) trials and challenges. This week has proven that the same principle holds true for the blessings in life, too.
First, I needed help navigating through the world of Schmidt family finances and had to enlist the help of my Heavenly Father who was there every step of the way! Even though I knew He could have left me to fend for myself and not helped at all. I'm so very grateful for all the help I received, because I would have never made it through without His help. And my parents help too. I was really trying to not ask them for help, but I couldn't have gotten through without it. Thank you, thank you, Mom and Dad.
Then on the flip side of the incredible help, we've been "hit" with another trial. Let me explain. A while back Kevin had to find a new pain specialist. Well, it's taken us several months to find one. Keep in mind, the entire time we have been looking Kevin has been without pain medication which is never good. Well, yesterday he had his first appointment with the new doctor. Up until this point Kevin's been in a lot of pain and when the weather changes the pain intensifies. When he got to the doctor's office his blood pressure was through the roof! Which meant the pain was out of control. Keep in mind, Kevin has never had high blood pressure and his normal level is like 117/80. He has awesome blood pressure except when he is in pain. His reading at the new pain doctor's office was 150/95, which is out of control for him. (It's been higher) It gets better.....remember, it's been raining a lot over the past couple of days, so it was all Kevin could do to get himself to this appointment. He had his mind set on receiving, and looking forward to a little relief in the form of some kind of pain medication. At least enough to get him through to whatever plan of treatment the doctor had in store. Well, the doctor came in, talked with him for all of three minutes, and told Kevin there was nothing he could do for him. He told Kevin that he needed to go back to our primary care doctor for a referral to a surgeon to have a pain pump implanted. Kevin was devastated!! After his last surgery, which caused his paralysis, he vowed to NEVER have surgery again! Frankly, I don't blame him. The surgery to implant the pain pump would require the doctor to thread a catheter through his spinal column in order for the pump to distribute medication directly to the location of his pain. Talk about revisiting the "scene of the crime"!!!! How on Earth do they expect this man to trust another surgeon to go back into his spinal column to do another procedure????.....when the last "Yahoo" ((so called surgeon) caused his current condition and left him paralyzed for the rest of his life??!!! Can you imagine what must be going through Kevin's head right now? He's scared to death, and frankly I can't blame him!!!! I'm scared too. Just the thought of another surgery has caused some PTSD issues to take place in our home since his last surgery. Now, that another doctor has suggested it, Kevin is in full blown freak out mode here.
Kevin text me while I was at work as soon when he was done with his appointment. I called him back right away and he told me what the doctor said but I could tell he was upset and he said we could talk about it more when I got home from work. When I got home we talked and Kevin told me about what the doctor said and that the doctor was in the room for less than three minutes, I called our primary care doctors office and set up an appointment with the actual doctor, and not the physicians assistants we normally see. I can count on one hand the number of times we've actually seen the doctors in that office in the fifteen plus years we've been going there. The assistants have always been amazing. In fact, it was an assistant that caught Lexi's heart problem. Although lately through my whole sickness and hives ordeal it seemed like they were slipping. In fact, I was contemplating a switch to a new doctor because they just seemed off or something. Their office was having issues with their computer system and it seems as though once they had to jump through all the hoops for Obama Care their ability to really treat patients as people started to change. Also my doctor's office could have tested me for allergies, they give the shots right there in the office too, but they didn't and instead they referred me to a dermatologist. I set up the appointment with an allergist all on my own. So, we aren't taking any chances with Kevin. He needs help and we need to know if there are other options, because I don't know if Kevin can go through surgery again. He's been through so much already. Kevin told me about a month ago, before this pain pump stuff, that he is hoping to be able to take a little family trip sometime soon. I told him we will see, because our trip to Montana for the open house for Danielle and Chance, is complete blur to Kevin. That was when he said, "Sondra, I don't intend to live out the rest of my days like this. This has got to get better. He said if it doesn't",....and we will leave it at that. I can't even go there. So, I am hoping this pain pump ordeal will turn out to be a blessing in disguise and bring about the quality of life change Kevin is so desperately looking for. I know he has so much more to do, and experience. I refuse to believe this is how it's going to be. It just can't be. Kevin just happens to be one of those strong spirits with the ability and determination to change the world. He's been that influence for good many times in he past, and I know he will be that influence again. I've had a front row seat to these things and I'm holding out that we will all see it again. He just needs a little hope, and a little help to get there again. (Your prayers would be appreciated).
I've pondered our situation over the past few days and wondered why it has to be all one or the other. Torrential rain or none whatsoever. Why can't the good times just be peppered here and there with a few trials. I've come to the conclusion that life is probably a pretty good mix of good and bad MOST of the time. I just think that right now I have to actively look for the good things. It's definitely something I have to work at because the bad seem to hit me pretty hard and have taken the wind out of my sails, so to speak. I will admit I'm really trying to focus on the sunshine, not the clouds. I've had to make it a concious effort and sometimes I have to pray for help to see the sunshine some days. With my efforts, and the help of a loving Heavenly Father, I'm just lucky enough to see the sun. Or maybe I'm just not strong enough to deal with this "grand scale", life altering trials all at once right now. (Baby steps) Whatever it is, I'm grateful for a few days of sunshine.
In other news.....
* All week I've told the kids I need their help with a few things around the house. Well, last night Curtis came home and asked if he could go tubing down the river with his friend. You see, this friend is in the Marines in the infantry and is about to be deployed to Syria. So, anytime this young man comes in to town they all try to spend time with him because he quite possibly could not come back from this deployment. How can I say no to that? Why he choose to become a Marine and the infantry is beyond me. This kid is the same age as Curtis. I can only imagine what this kids parents are going through and the young man as well. Talk about scary!
*. Lexi is starting to feel a little better after being sick with a really good cold. She's limited to what she can take because of her heart, so I couldn't give her the Advil Cold and Sinus that helps to open things up so well, so she's been taking Bendryl. Last night I found a box of Mucinex tucked in a pocket of my purse. I gave her one and this morning she says she is feeling better. I'm glad. I hate it when Lexi is sick.
*. I've got a few errands to run and a lot to do around the house so I'll be in and out a lot. I'm hoping to get a lot done. I'm also hoping the humidity does not play a factor in making it miserable to get everything done. It usually makes it hard for me to breathe so my rescue inhaler will be close by at all times. Arg! Darn asthma. It could be worse though. I'm starting to see how the allergy drops are starting to work. I've noticed the dark circles under my eyes are starting to disappear a little. I've also noticed that if I don't take my drops in the morning and take them in the afternoon when I get home they aren't as helpful with my asthma issues in the mornings. I'll have to ask a out that the next time I see the doctor.
That's about it for our family today. Take care and we will talk again soon.