Sunday, June 4, 2017

Time Out for Mom

What would you do if you had one, two, or even three days all to yourself?  It's funny because I ask myself that very question every time all the kids are gone doing "their thing", Kevin's asleep, and I have the entire evening to myself.  I have to admit, it feels like I've been put in time out some nights, other nights I totally enjoy the peace and quiet.   After a crazy week full of lots and lots of visits to my doctor's office, lots of resting and trying to just get better, the boys working, and Lexi finishing school, I'd committed to get my patriot banners done today (or at least cut out) so all I'd have to do is hang them up when the time comes.  

 Besides, I needed something to do that wasn't watching TV, and didn't require a lot of effort on my part.  After all, I'm still not 100% better yet.  Yesterday when I came home from the doctors office and cooked dinner, I was worn out and had an awful night.  I tried to tidy up a little bit too, and by the time I was done I had broken out in more hives and was having trouble breathing, so I knew I needed to take some medicine , use the inhaler, keep drink lots of water, and just try to relax.  That didn't work out too well, the resting part.  Every time I turned around someone was calling my name or walking through the door.  Needless to say, I didn't get to bed until eleven last night.  I must have needed all that sleep because today I woke up at seven long enough to see my boys walk out the door to go play some kind of game with friends (I think it was frisbee tag or something like that), and then I was back asleep until one this afternoon.  I guess it's just going to take time to get completely over this pneumonia stuff, which is not exactly the way I like it.  This afternoon once I had committed to the banners I knew I needed to see it through.  There really was no other option for me, since everyone else was finally home and now sleeping, so i knew I had to do something that didn't make lots of noise so they could all sleep and so I kept working.  I don't like to make lots of noise when Kevin finally falls asleep.  He's really the only one that is a super light sleeper and he's the one not sleeping much lately.  I tend to try to keep the house fairly quiet, meaning no vacuuming or banging of the pots and pans when he finally dozes off.   And so....

This afternoon I loaded up the queue on my printer, filled the printer with white card stock, and printed out about thirty color pages of free banners I found that I liked online.  I was halfway through cutting, and cutting, and more cutting, when everyone but Lexi woke up. 

Sidenote:  These are the banners I cut out.  All of various sizes and shapes.  I'm still trying to decide if I should make them all the same size or make it work with all different size pieces.  I'm making two banners.  One with the smallest pieces for inside the house, and one with all the bigger pieces for outside  on my front porch window.

Once Curtis was awake he went out to mow the lawn, and then I ran out to pick up a couple of things for dinner.  Once dinner was over I went back to cutting out the pieces for my banners.  When I was done I put all the pieces in a large ziplock bag so I could keep them all together.  Now I need to find the right Baker's twine and other embellishments to put my own "spin" on these banners.  I'm sure I'll find some cute things at one of the local craft stores over the next few days.  I did manage to pick up a tiny bit around the house too.  I watered the lawn and I also sprayed a few weeds out front as well.  The front lawn is looking really nice.  We still have a couple bald spots but the grass seed we planted a couple weeks ago is really starting to come in.  I'm quite proud of that since I was the one that planted it and I've been the one making sure it gets watered twice a day, even if it meant I could only sit and watch while Lexi did all the watering.  I have to say, she has been a big help with the lawn while I've been sick and I really do appreciate that.

Once the lawn was watered I came inside, put on my favorite yoga pants and stayed dressed that way until this morning.  I laid out all of my clothes for church fully intending to make it to at least Sacrament meeting today, but I slept through my alarm again.  I know.  Pitiful!  I also stayed up way to late last night and even made a quick trip to the grocery store at eleven last night to pick up a couple of things I'd need today so I wouldn't be tempted to run to the grocery store on Sunday.  I was afraid I'd miss going to church today and  I'm not very happy with myself for missing it.  For the past two and a half weeks I barely felt like showering and brushing my teeth, much less doing my hair, putting on make-up, and getting dressed up.  So, going to church was a big deal!!  I know I've probably scared a few people when they saw me out and about at the doctor's office, the lab, or the imaging center because my hair was clean and washed, but I did absolutely nothing to it and just let it air dry and my face didn't have any make-up on it and the dark circles were in plain sight for all to see.  I'm sure it was quite a sight.  Yikes!!!  I couldn't help it though, I didn't feel like fussing with anything.  Using the water pick and brushing my teeth was all I could handle, and even that was questionable most days.  I would have gone to those places without a bra and in my jammies if I thought I could get away with it, but I'm not ten years old anymore and I can only imagine the looks I could have got if I would have tried that.  

All in all, this hasn't been a bad weekend at all.  In fact, you might say it was a perfect weekend for a woman who might be looking for a little break from motherhood or wifehood.  I wasn't exactly looking for that, it just happened that way.  In fact, when I tried to help my kids when they were looking for something they all barked back at me and asked me not to help them.  One of them was particularly mean about it and Kevin jumped into the conversation and insisted that they not speak to me the way they were.  I'll admit, it hurt my feelings because all I wanted to do was to help them.  I don't know what it is about kids when they grow up.  They seem to not need their mothers or even want their mothers anywhere near them anymore, yet they still aren't ready to move out and be on their own.  It's a fine line we as their parents have to walk when the kids think they are adults, when their drivers license says they are legally of adult age, and they are still living at home.  You (as their parents) expect a little respect and expect a little help around the house and for the most part we do get that.  It's just once in a while when they are looking for something like a lost wallet or a certain pair of socks that they would prefer to do it all on their own without my help.  It's hard for me because the child that has always seems to have trouble misplacing things throughout his entire life, and I would always help and always be the one to find the lost item, now that he's had a couple years of living on his own, doesn't want me to pitch in and help anymore.  Can I help it if it's a little difficult for me to stop helping when I see him in need?  I'm telling you, being the mother of adult children still living at home is a lot harder than being the mother of five years olds.  Reverse psychology has become a way of life in this house.  It's interesting.  I'm learning to be that mother.  It's not always easy to let go, but I'm starting to get the idea.  LOL!!!  I'm telling you though, there are days when I wouldn't mind leaving them all alone to fend for themselves to check into a hotel for a weekend of "me" time, but I haven't gone to those extremes yet.  I've come to realize that these so called adult children will eventually learn to appreciate their parents more when they have a spouse and children of their own.  It happened to me when I got married and I know it will happen again.  History has a funny way of repeating itself when it comes to things like this.  Honestly, I'm looking forward to it.  In fact, I think it's those thoughts that keep me from running from our house screaming sometimes right to a hotel.  Not to mention the fact that I'd miss them all if I ever ran away for the weekend too.  Those darn kids just have that effect on me.  I can't help it.  I love them, but I'm learning to love from a distance now.  Again, it's a fine line we have to walk now a days. 

Since I didn't end up going to church today I decided to get started on a little laundry.  5 loads of laundry that is.  I washed everything except blankets and sheets.  Those are on my list of things to do tomorrow night after dinner.  Low and behold Curtis came home from church today and was upset that I washed everything because he has plans to go to a YSA game night and nothing is completely dry yet.  He's even taking his little sister with him and she was complaining that nothing was dry either.  Our dryer vent keeps coming undone and needs to get hooked up again, so our dryer isn't drying like it should.  It will get fixed soon, but not today in time for all of them to get ready.  So, my kids are happy their clothes are being washed, just not so happy that they will have to air dry because things get a little stiff when they air dry here in Arizona.  I'm telling you, I can't win for losing.  LOL!  I'm not sad about it.  I feel a sense of accomplishment by doing all of this laundry today, especially since I haven't been feeling well.  This means I'm improving and getting better again.  It's a good thing even if it inconveniences the kids a little.  I'm not letting my adult children get to me this time.  

It's certainly different with adult children that's for sure.  Some days it's even a bit lonely too.  As much fun as it's been spending a little time on my own cutting out banners that's not my life.  A nice little break, yes.  But, the truth of the matter is, I'll take my real life of cooking and laundry and daily routines.....and hugs and kisses (on those rare occasions) , and those comments like, "Mom, you make the best (whatever I'm making at the time) in the world!" and "No one makes this or that as good as Mom!" and the "thanks honey for doing this or doing that" any day.  These are the moments I cherish the most.  Enough said.

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