Thursday, January 26, 2017

It's not about YOU!

This was a rooooouuuuuggggghhhhh morning!
Just before 4AM one of the dogs started bothering me and would not stop.  He just kept licking and nudging my leg.  By the time I finally got out of bed I was ready to kill him!  Don't worry.  I let both dogs outside before I jumped in the shower and when I let them back in, he left me alone until just before I walked out the door to get to work.  Crazy dog!  
I told Kyle well before this morning that he needed to start spending more time with his dog and either take him out for walks or at least play a few rounds of fetch with him just to wear him out because he is really starting to become a clingy little sucker, and I don't do clingy very well, especially when it's a dog.  
I was hoping Kyle would get outside with both dogs today, but Kyle woke up with a toothache.  Before I left for work, I gave Kyle the phone number for our dentist and told him to call with his insurance card handy so they could take all the information.  Well, I text Kyle a couple of times throughout the day, and then I called home at lunch.  He ended up taking some pain medication (Tylenol PM) and slept all day.  Technically during the day today was his time to sleep normally.  So, I get it.  When I got home and found out he still had not called the doctor, I called for him.  The soonest they could get him in was this Saturday.  In the meantime, if he is still hurting as bad as he is tomorrow I'll call them again to see if there is anyway they can get him in earlier.  They are usually really good about working you in quick.  More to come on that.  Thank goodness Kyle got signed up for benefits through his employer at the end of last year.  I'm so glad he did.
So, lets do something fun 'bout a Meme?!
1. "The cure for anything is salt water-tears, sweat, or the sea." (Isak Dinesan) Would you agree? Of the three, which has 'cured' you most recently?

I've always thought tears were very therapeutic for me.  I was caught a little off guard with some "news" a couple of weeks ago.  After a while I began to cry and then I pulled my "boot straps" up and I was ready to go!  That's sometimes the way I cope.  Thankfully I'm not one to cry and cray and cry.  I can pull myself together and go on with things after a good cry.  I wish I could say I had a pretty cry, but I don't.  It's pretty pitiful and UggggggggLLLLLLLLy!!! 

2. What's something you can't eat without salt? Do you normally salt your food a lot, a little, or not at all?

Oh, I usually do not salt my food much at all, if at all.  I tend to use a lot of pepper, not salt.  The only time I like a little salt on something would be a piece of turkey around Thanksgiving.  In fact, I'll make a sandwich out of the leftovers, and grab the salt shaker and I will salt every bite.  That's the only time I salt something.  Honest, something I eat has to really taste bad without salt for me to even think about salting something.

3. Sands of time, bury your head in the sand, built on sand, or draw a line in the sand...which sandy phrase could best be applied to something in your life right now? 

I haven't really done this, but I have certainly felt like burying my head in the sand from time to time.  Especially with all the negativity surrounding our new President.  Good grief, it's just sad, and I pray that in the coming months, we will see a major transformation across our country and the media!!! 

4. A favorite book, movie, or song with an island setting or theme?

Shoot!  I have absolutely no idea.  Let me see....I'd say, "The Other Side of Heaven". 

5. Yesterday-did you run your day or did it run you? How so?

It definitely ran me until I decided to take control and make a few changes, but that didn't happen until I got home last night.  Life happens and some days you just gotta get the upper hand.  ~chuckle~chuckle~  It started when I got on the freeway to come home last night.  Thank goodness I take a route that isn't exactly the normal route for most people.  I saved myself a lot of time by doing that.  Then when I got home we decided to cancel a class Lexi has been taking (at her request).  We will be looking for a new class she can take in it's place.  That saved me from running her downtown last night.  Thank goodness this class is just for fun and nothing school related.

6. You're on an island holiday. Will I most likely find you parked in a beach chair, shopping in town, on the back of a jet ski, or snorkeling off the back of a catamaran?

Oh, you would most likely find me doing a little bit of everything!  I would love all of the above!  Sitting on the beach, shopping, on a jet ski, and I've never done it before, but snorkeling would be fun! ~just so you know~  

7. What do you think we humans most take for granted?

Oh, where do I begin?!  I'd have to say, life in general.  I probably don't take my life for granted at this point as much as I have in the past.  And, that's no doubt, due to the situation my husband is in, and most especially because of this past Christmas.  We came so close to losing him.  If I didn't act and get him into the Emergency Room when I did, he would be gone now.  Scary thought for sure!!!  I never use to give tomorrow a thought but I have lived long enough now to know that our lives can change in a moments notice and tomorrow is not a guarantee.  That's just one of the many reasons that I'm so glad that I know what I know, I know who I am, and I know who is in charge, and I have the faith to leave those things in His hands.

8. Insert your own random thought here.

The other day a friend on Facebook shared a little parenting advice she had been given by another "seasoned" parent.  This friend had been noticing that one of her sons had become more clingy lately and was having a little more trouble getting along in life.  She tried to come up with ways to help his self-esteem and tried doing more Mom/Dad dates alone with him as well as tried to make sure they took the time to cheer for this young son as an entire family whenever they got the chance.  If this son did well on a school assignment or something she would make sure it was mentioned to the entire family.  Well, they did these things for a while and really didn't see much change.  The parents were praying and really working hard to try and come up with a solution but nothing came to mind until the other day.  This Mom belongs to a couple of Facebook groups for large families and she decided to ask the group what they all thought she should do.  One of the older Mom's replied and said, "Try making it less about you time with you, and start working to build the relationship this son has with their siblings."  So, this Mom took that advice to heart and decided to give it a try.  This Mom said she decided to have her kids do chores with a buddy sibling.  Then she paired this son up for a little one-on-one time with the older brother he shares a room with.  She even got them walkie-talkies that only the two of them could use.  She said in a very short amount of time she began to notice a big change in the young son who had been having trouble.  As you can imagine, this Mom was so grateful that her prayers had been answered and a solution had been found.  She said, working to strengthen the relationships her children have their each of their siblings really reminded her of what it truly means to be a family.  

As I thought about this little piece of advice, it dawned on me that this wasn't just good advice for young parents and children.  This advice could help older children as well.  For a while now I've also been dealing with a child who has been a little more clingy than usual.  It began at the same time my husband suffered his spinal cord injury, and this child has really tried to stay close to home and spend as much time as possible with me.  We even enrolled her in online school and got her involved in a few classes to strengthen a talent she has.  BUT, like the Mom of the young son noticed, nothing has seemed to pull our child out of her shell.  She really enjoys spending time with her older sister, but most of the times they have been together it was never one-on-one time alone together.  My oldest daughter either had her new husband or her best friend come with them, so that bond between sisters wasn't strengthened the way I had hoped.  Our daughter has a lot of fun with our older son as well, but he spends a lot of his time working, sleeping, or in training classes right now as he tries to get ready to transition his career.  So, it's been hard.  We are hoping that when our younger son returns home from his mission in a couple of months that he will be able to help build up the relationship he has with his younger sister and that we too with see a positive change for the better. 

I have also witnessed how working to strengthen the relationship between siblings has helped with my BIL and SIL kids as well.  My SIL use to assign areas of the house for a full week to one child to clean up on the family chore chart.  She said it was frustrating when the chores would get done and the areas would get messed up by another sibling shortly after it was all cleaned up.  She said, they decided to give each child the responsibility of also policing the area they were in charge of as well.  So, if they noticed someone messing up the kitchen the child could get after the other child to clean up their mess.  She said this improved the way chores were handled and it made it so my BIL and SIL did not have to discipline their children for not keeping their areas clean.  It cut down on the contention in the family, improved the relationships with siblings, and made parenting a lot easier. 

I think this was great advice.  I think parents and children of all ages can take this to heart.  I have witness this same thing happen in my own children when they spend time alone with one another.  They come back and share how much they enjoy their brothers and sisters and really love that.  It has made all the difference in so many different ways....and we didn't even know how good a thing this really was until we saw it with our own eyes!!! LOL!!!  

I know of a few parents that have spent their entire married life with children in their homes who are now adults, and these parents made every single moment about themselves and it has really taken a toll on each of their children and their children's self esteem and the relationships they have with siblings.  I know of one such Mom that I really wish would take advice like this to heart, instead of making everything about her.  In the long run she would be helping herself if she would just learn to back off and let her children have a few moments of time alone together.  It would improve sibling relationships and build relationships that should have been fostered and strengthened when the siblings were little boys.  Now, that they are much older, they cannot even relate to some sensitive issues the one brother has and deals with every single day.  I think some parents that do not work on building strong sibling relationships are doing their children a big disservice and I think that is just sad.  What's going to happen when Mom and Dad are gone and can't be there?  If those bonds and relationships are developed at a young age, those children will be able to survive alone together much easier when they know they have each other to rely on.  Isn't that a good thing?   I think it is.

We need each other and yes, sometimes our kids need us as parents, but sometimes they need their siblings even more.  It's something to think about, that's for sure.

 Enough about all that.

UPDATE:  So, through the night Kyle ended up waking up about four times to throw up.  The pain was that bad, he is pretty swollen on his right side, and his ear hurts.  So, because of the pain and because Kyle couldn't even stand up straight because he got dizzy whenever he tried, I decided to stay home and get him in somewhere to get him some help.  I called the dentist at eight.  They got Kyle in at nine.  We were there until about 11:50.  They had to numb his mouth a little and they said it would only take a little of the edge off and wouldn't stop all the pain.  He also has to rinse his mouth every hour with salt water.  Then the dentist had to lance (cut) his gums so the infection could drain before they could even think about doing any work.  So, they sent him home with strong antibiotics and pain meds.  Kyle will go back on tomorrow and then again on Saturday for X-rays and a root canal if the swelling has gone down enough by then.  Then he will have to have a second root canal on a lower tooth as well.... on a tooth he had a root canal on just before he left on his mission.  Talk about crazy.  The dentist even said there was no possible way Kyle would have made it until his originally scheduled Saturday appointment with that huge infection.   Their offices are closed on Friday this week, but the dentist agreed to come in special just for Kyle to check him and see if they can at least take X-rays by then.  I thought that was pretty amazing!  So, it was a good thing I got him in.  The poor kid.  If the dentist would not have been available today, we would have tried Urgent Care.  Now we are home and waiting for Kyle's prescriptions to be filled.  I'm telling you, when it rains it pours at my house.  Thank heavens for dental insurance, but it still doesn't cover enough for root canals.  Just for the one tooth it's $600.  That's actually quite cheap.  Even the dental assistant said Kyle has excellent insurance coverage.  I couldn't believe it.  Kyle has the same dental insurance I have, but under different employer's since he is 26 years old, and it doesn't cover enough for my liking.  I wish there was an HMO for dental and that my (our) employer's offered it.  That would cut down on the finial surprised that's for sure!

Kyle took a picture of himself with his cheek all swollen, but I can see the swelling better when I look at him from the side better.  His cheek is swollen up about one or two inches higher than his other cheek.  It's really bad.  I asked him how big the cut was that the dentist had to do, and he couldn't tell me.  He didn't want to look since any touching of that area hurts to much right now.  If I can snap a photo of Kyle's cheek I will so you can see how bad it is, but I'm betting he won't let me.  He doesn't like it when I post photos of him on the blog,especially with something like this.

It's interesting with Kyle and Kevin taking pain medications around here.  They are quite the pair.  Lexi and I are kept pretty busy between the two of them.

I should get going.  Take care and we will talk again soon.

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