It's 10:15AM and I either slept through my 7:00AM alarm or it never went off. If it's the alarm I've gotta get that figured out and quick. If I slept through it, then I know who to thank for keeping me up until 3:00AM this morning. It's a combonation of a few people. First my neighbor's across the street were very loud until after midnight last night. They were banging and yelling so much that our dogs were agitated all night. They barked and howled until the banging and yelling finally stopped. I think someone couldn't get inside their house so he decided to become very loud and noisy to get the people inside to open the door. At 1:30AM Kyle called me like he has most nights on his way home from work to tell me about his day. I told Kyle about our neighbors and he thought I said they were banging on our door and he asked if I called the Police, and then he proceeded to say he guessed he knew where his gun would be tonight. That kid! Of course I would have called the Police if they were banging on our door like that. In fact, I was going to call if they didn't quiet down soon because the noise and the dogs barking (and I mean all the dogs in our house and in our neighborhood too) were keeping Kevin from settling down to go to sleep. Kyle and I talked until he got to the freeway exit closest to our house. Once Kyle was home, I glanced in at Kevin in our bed. I can sit on the sectional in our family room and see right into where he is sleeping, if our bedroom door is open. When I glanced in, I saw Kevin reaching down to the ground from the bed trying to grab his cellphone. I then told Kevin to not fall and I then asked him if he was ready to go. I thought for sure he was going to land himself on the ground. So, I told Kyle to go check on his Dad. Kyle went in and talked to him for a few minutes and then Kevin got up and was now sitting on the edge of our bed. You see, He has been complaining that his legs were hurting and he was in pain, so I then asked Kevin again if he was ready to go. Well, he missed my intent to go to the hospital, in my statement and he got into his wheelchair and came out to the family room and asked me where I wanted to go. When I explained myself and that I wasn't going anywhere, unless it was an Emergency Room, at 2:30AM in the morning, he just looked at me like I was speakng a foreign language for a second. Then it registered, and he said he didn't realize it was so early. We talked for a bit and I told him if he kept acting like this, we were not waiting this time and he was going to go to the Emergency Room again. He just looked at me and said he was fine. I of course told him I was not believing a word he was telling me. Then he proceeded to tell me the truth. In his normal Kevin tone and voice, he managed to tell me he was scared. He said he was tired of all of this. I explained that I knew he was and that we would get through it all together. Since I knew he was not the same Kevin we have seen when we take off for an Emergency Room before, and he was acting like "my" Kevin, I didn't proceed to push him anymore to go to the Emergency Room. I know the extra pain has a lot to do with the weather right now. It's been rainy, cold, and overcast all weekend. The extra pain Kevin feels always hits a couple of days before the rain actually hits. This time was just like every other time it rains. Kevin refuses to believe that the weather has anything to do with his pain level, but it is. I can tell him exactly when the pain will begin to get worse and when it will start to ease up, but we haven't clued him in on that yet. I don't want to upset him anymore than he already is. Needless to say, we are keeping a close eye on him this weekend. Any slight change to what I call "the dark side" of Kevin and we are loading him into the car and headed to that great big Emergency Room again. Last night Kevin agreed. He knows I mean business and he knows why. I told him I knew he gets scared through all of this sometimes, but I would prefer him to be in the hospital and being cared for by people who knew how to handle things like what he had before. He understood and was appreciatative. That's another sign I knew I was dealing with "my" Kevin and not the Kevin from the "dark side". It's a fine line from "my" Kevin to the Kevin on the "dark side" and I have to be vigilant and watch for any signs of the switch over. Right now Kevin is trying to get some sleep. He got up a couple of minutes ago to take his medicine. He has some crazy action movie on the television and he is starting to dose off finally. We will check in on him in a few minutes to see if he actually falls asleep this time. I'm telling you, it's been a crazy, action packed morning already. No wonder I slept through my alarm or whatever happened. I so wanted to make it to church today, but under the circumstances, I guess I am exactly where I need to be.
Enough about my crazy morning. Let's talk about something else. (It helps to get my mind off of things.)
Over the years, I've kept a list of things that I've loved in homes that I've been in. Each of these homes were homes that were inviting and family oriented. Based on my favorite homes list here is my vision of the perfect home for my family.
First and foremost, my dream hom would have a beautiful view of the valley and not be anywhere near other homes. I want something off by itself. The perfect vision I have of this home, would include a tree lined lane on both sides. A small creek close by enough to lull me to sleep each night during any season of the year. (One can dream right?) It would have a wrap-around porch with either a swing, a couple of nice rocking chairs, or some kind of nice patio furniture that would allow me to enjoy the sights and sounds of the valley all year long. Now, I know I contradicted myself because I said I also wanted the home to be buried in trees, which would not allow me to see much of the view.
The home would not be massive or pretentious and yet would have to be plenty large to include all of the things that have inspired me over the years. It would have a welcoming entry way, large enough to house the curved staircase, a Christmas tree during the holidays, a nice chair or bench, a large round table with a large bouquet of flowers on it, a nice grandfather clock, and a wall of family photos. It would have an formal living room, small enough to feel cozy and inviting, yet large enough for a piano so the kids could play it whenever they visited. A large enough sized dining room to seat most of the family with either a built in hutch or a butlers pantry that would be used often. I'd want a seperate office or den where we could go to work, pay bills, read, with bookcases ceiling to floor, wall to wall,filled with every book I've ever read or dreamed of reading, family photos and cherished treasures, and we would do projects there. The den or office would also house all of our family photo albums where they would be close enough to be enjoyed with ease, and yet safely stored to protect them. We'd have a safe there as well to protect valueables from fire, flood, or heat. The back half of the home would be one large room. The kitchen and family room combined. Behind these two rooms would be a mud room that leads to the garage, with lockers, a place to sit down and take off shoes and coats, hang backpacks, hold things like library books, returns and things to do. My kitchen would be large enough to prepare Thanksgiving dinner every weekend, with high-tech appliances, two refrigerators placed side by side so the doors opened like one huge large fridge, with the freezers on the bottom. There would be a grill and in the stove-top, and an island with seating for eight at the bar so that I could visit while I cooked and baked.
The family room would have a beatiful hearth and fireplace made out of stone that was as tall as the vaulted ceiling with a mantle decorated for every season. Nice large furniture and a built-in entertainment center with a big screen TV, and would allow all family activities to take place right there in the heart of the home, near the kitchen. There would be a movie theater in my home, upstairs, That way we'd have a place to lounge and watch TV, movies, or play games that would be out of the way.
The staircase in the entrance would wrap around just enough, but not completely across the upper floor, allowing a view of the entrance and at the top of the staircase. The ceiling above the staircase would have mural of clouds painted and a medallion on the floor in that circular area just in front of where the Christmas tree would go. Then around between two bedrooms would be an area that functioned as a reading nook. More book cases along under all the windows, a few more photos, and two big comfy chairs with an ottoman. I would LOVE a second staircase from the kitchen/family room so that the family could dash upstairs without having to go through the entire house, but with Kevin's condition I'm thinking an elevator would be better.
Upstairs the master suite would be complete with fireplace, open jetted tub and a glass encased walk-in shower built for two with several shower heads mounted on the ceiling and walls. There would be two potty areas, one for Kevin and one for me, in a private powder room. The suite would be large enough to have a sitting area for reading or watching a movie in peace or just relaxing together alone at night. It would also have an area for books to read at our leisure with a lock. And for a real frill, there would be an area with a small sink, a small refrigerator, and a cabinet, where we could have lots of ice, water, and a couple light snacks. This would make it so much easier for Kevin to get what he needed without always having to go downstairs all the time.
The remaining bedrooms, one for each of our kids and two guest rooms would not be huge, but would have a bathroom on each room. There would also be built-in bookshelves and walk-in closets. I'd also LOVE an upstairs laundry room and one downstairs as well, After all, this is my dream home, right?!
A walk-out basement would be fun, but this could also be part of the movie theater upstairs, but if we did have a basement, it would include a large game room and enough space to have family gatherings or to tie a quilt any time. There would be a small kitchen downstairs for entertaining. A storage room, room for Kevin filled with all sorts of sports memorabilia, and a craft room that would feature an entertaining wall, tall counter tops, built-in cupboards and one large walk-in closet for hiding all of the odds and ends that aren't inviting to the eye. A food storage room for our supply of food, emergency items, and another storage room to house the bins of decorations that come out at their special time of the year. And while I'm dreaming, there would be a nice hot tub, and a pool with a beach like entrance so as to make it easy for Kevin to get in and out of it. The pool would have a diving board, a slide, and we would have a pool house too. The pool house would double as another guest suite or apartment where our older kids could live if they wanted to while attending school, or whatever.
There would be built in speakers throughout the home, central vacuuming, and a four car garage with built in cabinets to store all of the unsightly things. There would be TVs in bedrooms, locks on doors, especially the storage rooms, bathrooms, and our own bedroom.
In the backyard, there would be fruit-bearing trees that would surround the yard and a very tall fence to insure privacy. There would also be a building/large shed to hold all the yard and pool toys.
The colors of the home would be warm and inviting, large windows would invite the beauty of the valley into every room and beautiful cabinetry would be a part of each and every room, allowing lots of storage and organization. The entire home would be built, not to impress others, but to welcome in family and friends, to entertain our friends and family, our children's friends and to create lots of memories! The outside would be a of of stone and in grey tones. Everything about this home would say, "Come in, take your shoes off, stay a while! All who enter are family!"
All that being said, we already have a home where our family gathers,even without all that space! The truth of the matter is, my real dream would be to just add a larger family room, a designated and more closed off living room, a formal dining room, and redo the bathrooms so Kevin could move around in them better, and kitchen to include a huge refrigerator and an island with at least 4 or 5 bar stools around it, and put in wood floors or that tile that looks like wood throughout the entire house. I'd love the buy the house next door and use that as our garage and pool room (Kevin tells me it can't be done. I say, sure it can, all it takes is money and if this is my dream we would have money.) so I could move the pool to that backyard and have space to have a nice back porch, be able to open up the doors to the family room right on to the porch, and give the dogs room to roam and run. I do love our home, and with a few changes and a little paint I honestly could stay here forever and be quite happy.
It's fun to think about some of these things. At times these dreams help to give me a tiny escape from lots of the things we deal with on a daily basis. The dreams helps to keep me sane.
It's time to get going and get a few things done around here, like a meal for my family. Take care my friends and we will talk again soon.