Saturday, November 5, 2016

With a Grateful Heart

I've been to the doctor so many times these past couple of weeks that he's starting to complete my sentences.  How crazy is that?  I have to say, he's been awesome.  His primary goal has been to keep me from having to go into the hospital and I certainly appreciate that.  Besides, I don't know how that would work with Kevin since he cannot drive and Kyle isn't home.  He just left for Hawaii!!  It would be fine with Lexi here while I'm at work, but not 24/7 and that always was the plan when Kyle left on his trip.  Besides, Kevin has been a-okay during the time Kyle leaves for work while I am still at work myself.  BUT, you know as soon as I would have been admitted to the hospital something would have happened and Kevin would have ended up in need of serious help.  So, I was very grateful my doctor went above and beyond to make sure I was able to stay at home instead of a hospital.  I'm telling you, that doctor has been amazing!!  

I will admit, I'm a little jealous of Kyle right now.  In Hawaii!!  He will be home Sunday night.  He's having a lot of fun visiting with friends from his mission.  He's been to the Vietnam Memorial, the beach, BYU - Hawaii, the swap meet, on several really cool hikes up some very steep hills, saw a lighthouse, and tonight he said they are going to a luau at the Polynesian Cultural Center.  Tomorrow they will go back to Pearl Harbor to go on the tour.  They missed the last tour yesterday and Kyle really wants to see it.  Then he will pick up a couple souvenirs to bring home.  He said the Hawaiian swap meet was the best place to get souvenirs and most of the tourists don't know about it.  I can't wait until he gets home to share his experiences and show us all of the photos he has taken.  He has sent me several already, but he gets to be the first to share what he saw.  I can wait.  

Kyle just sent me a text message telling me he was at the Polynesian Cultural Center at the luau and he did something tonight he has never done before.  He said he got to dance on stage in front of thousands of people.  He said there was a video of it to.  I asked him if he showed them that he could move his hips like a hula dancer?  He didn't answer. I tried to get him to send it to me, but he hasn't done it yet.  He is such a chicken.  I just want to show his Dad.  LOL!  I would never post it on Facebook and tag him in it for all to see.  No, not this Mom!  ~smile~smile~  I so would do it and he knows it.  LOL!  

Thank heavens for the ability to do things online.  I managed to get a few things done online since I have been home.  I paid some bills and got Lexi all set up for her orthodontist appointments.  She starts those very soon.  She is uber excited about that!  NOT!  She wants her teeth fixed without all the "fun" of braces.  Frankly I don't blame her, but in the end it will be good.  I'm excited for her.  I also plan to get braces eventually too.  I'm hoping for the Invisalign kind and not the kind they cement to your teeth, but we will see how much those cost and how much our dental insurance will cover.  I'm also a little concerned about having dental work.  I've never had a single cavity in my entire life and I've only been to the dentist to get cleanings and to have my wisdom teeth removed.  I owe it all to the regular check-ups the Air Force provided and good strong teeth.  When my dentist checked my teeth out he said it wouldn't take much for my teeth.  He said it just might be able to be done in a shorter time frame since I don't have any major issues and I don't have crowding problem.  I still need to think long and hard about this.  Right now my life is pretty full with work, home, Kevin, and kids.  The question is can I make time for the dentist also.  It would be good to do it right now while Lexi is having hers done so we could get to the dentist at the same time.  Kill two birds at the same time kind of thing.  So, we will see.  I first need to go see my regular dentist and get a cleaning done before that.  

Kevin ran an errand with me tonight.  We didn't go very far.  With this sickness about the only thing I've done is run to pick something up for them to eat since I am coughing and hacking all the time.  Tonight he rode with me to go visit a place called The Soda Shop.  

They make all these fancy soda drinks and I've been wanting to try it out and they have a drive-thru.  That way if I don't get anyone sick, no one sees me looking like a fright other than the person at the window, if I hack and cough it's in my own car, and if I need to bail and skip out of line there are no curbs to jump to get out of there.  So, we risked it and went to try it out.  Lexi and I got the Shark Attack which is Sprite with Blue Raspberry, lemonade, and a blue gummy shark at the bottom.  It's really good.  Kevin got something called the Big Daddy, and it had Dr. Pepper, Raspberry and Coconut in it.  Thankfully they weren't busy and they were super fast so we were in and out in about 10 minutes.  There is another place just like The Soda Shop called Fiiz Drinks that does the same kind of things, but we haven't tried it yet.  Maybe another day.  It was nice to get out.  

Next week Kevin will be setting up his appointment with the pain specialist.  He has a couple of things he wants to do first.  It will be good.  He has been waiting for this.  I'm hoping they have some other options for him instead of the usual medications they were giving him.  I don't want Kevin to become zombie Kevin again.  I just want him pain free and able to be up and about more.  I don't think that's to much to ask for, do you?  He has been through so much and he just needs to not have the pain so he can venture out and get on with his life again.  I don't know how he has done it all this time and he amazes me.  He has always said it's strange.  Most people with a spinal cord injury do not deal with the kind of pain he has.  He has even said why can't he either not be able to walk and have absolutely no pain, or be able to walk and have pain???? One or the other, but not both.  Not no walking and all the pain together.  I agree.  I wish he didn't have both to deal with.  Someday we will find out why things have turned out the way they have, but for now we have to learn to be patient (which can be so hard sometimes) and trust that our Heavenly Father knows exactly why we are going through all of this.  

I committed to something today that has me a little worried.  No, I'm not going to share what it is yet, but maybe eventually.  I have to say, it will be good if it works out the way I hope it will.  I talked to my doctor about it when I was in his office....yet again today about it too.  He liked the idea and offered a few tips and tricks and even offered to do whatever I needed to help me with my commitments.  It was awesome!  I have to say, I am loving the new guy in my doctor's office.  He has been nothing short of amazing and I so appreciate him.  I told Kevin about him and I think Kevin will like him as well.  

Even though we have experienced some crazy things this week.  Things I never would have dreamed we would deal with.  Things that make you want to take a step back from things.  Even so, we still have so very much to be grateful for.  Honestly, my heart is full.  If you would have told me at the beginning of this week that things would have turned out the way they have at the end of the week, I probably would have just cried and said there's no way.  BUT, I'm here at the end of this week and believe it or not, a way was found.  Miracles do happen.  Prayers are answered.  The one thing I regret is allowing myself to get caught up in the doubt and not remembering to be believing.  At the beginning of this week we received a nice little note from one of our neighbors without any kind of name on it.  It wasn't a very nice note either, but I knew exactly which neighbor it was that left the note on my garage door.  Lexi found it and gave it to me.  I read it and then I took it to Kevin to read.  He and I were frustrated by the little gem left for us.  We talked about it for a bit and I decided I was going to go and confront this neighbor.  Normally at this point Kevin would have stopped me, but he didn't this time.  His only question was what did I plan to say.  I told him exactly what I planned to say.  I wasn't going to be mean or anything, I was just going to explain the facts to her.  Well, I did that.  She had no sympathy or compassion what so ever.  In fact, she was quite matter-of-fact about it and I ended up leaving her doorstep without finishing what I wanted to say.  I didn't yell.  I didn't raise my voice.  After she said what she said I just figured that there was no talking to her.  She is never going to have any type of understanding for what we are going through, so there was no sense in talking to her in the first place.  She is young and thinks she knows it all.  Honestly, I couldn't help but hope that someday she gets a taste of what this has been like.  Now, I know that wasn't the right thing to think, but I can't help it.  I even got down on my knees and explained that I'm not past feeling like I just want people like this to have the chance to go through what we have been through.  Of course my Heavenly Father reminded me that I needed to follow Christ's example and turn the other cheek.  That is so hard to do!  I will say this.  I have gotten better.  Honest. 

A long time ago I would take it all.  People would say mean things and it would hurt, but I would never confront them.  It got to be that I was keeping all of that bottled up inside until finally one day I started to explode on people who didn't even deserve it.  Not all of them.  Some of it was justified, but I could have handled things a little bit differently.  Remember, I'm not perfect.  I'll be the first person to tell you I am so far away from that perfect model LDS woman.  News Flash.....I am NOT Molly Mormon!  It's true!  Anyway, I have noticed that I am not reacting to things the way I use to by taking it all in like a sponge or exploding on people.  Now, I try to actually discuss.  Or at least, that is what I found with this particular issue.  Now, tomorrow I could revert back to exploding.  I won't make any promises, but I do see some improvement and that is a good thing.  I call that a tender mercy....even a tiny miracle.  It's a good thing.

It's been a long day.  I'm worn out and ready for some rest and a show on Netflix or something to take my mind off of all of thing coughing.

Take care my friends and we will talk again soon.

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