Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Tuesday

Some friends of mine have been talking about this book called, I Wish He Had Come With Instructions - The Woman's Guide to a Man's Brain, by Mike Bechtle.  They said they were expecting to open the pages to something very dry, boring and extremely technical.  They said they were surprised to find a very readable book! 

My friends said the author took what could have been a complicated subject that might be weighted down with scientific facts and made it something that anyone can understand and gain insight from and it's pretty entertaining too.

They said the author encourages readers to appreciate and even celebrate the differences in the way men and women think and act or react.  My friends said it was an unexpected outcome in the first chapter learning a lot about themselves as women and how their actions affect the men in their lives. They said as it turns out, most of the chapters are like that. The author explains how the male mind works on something and my friends said they would immediately start to see how they have been acting with regards to the male mindset and know if they needed to change things. Most of the time they found the answer was "yes."

My friends said this book was a great read and they would recommend it to any woman who has ever wondered, "What is wrong with him?" They said you will find yourself nodding in agreement with many of the examples and the ah-ha! moments are many.  They said this book will not save a relationship that's on the rocks, but it just might keep one from ending up there by teaching you how to communicate with your men....and give you and understanding on the things he does and what motivates him.  

The first thing I thought about after hearing all my friends rave about this book was, "Where was it years ago when I could have REALLY used it???!!!"  Anyway, I plan to check it out and give it a go.  The way I see it, reading this book couldn't hurt and just might help a little.  Right?!  This is the book......

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Speaking of men. I have some good news about Kevin.  Or at least I think we can call it good news....I would like to think of it as good at least.  Now, he isn't going to like that I put all these details on my blog, but I can't help it!  This is good news!!!  Each month we receive between two and three large sized boxes (I'm talking the size of a very large igloo cooler) on our front porch full of medical supplies for Kevin. We place an order every single month and the company is quick to ship and we usually receive the shipments within two days.  Each box is packed full of individual catheters that Kevin uses each and every single time he has to go to he bathroom. (Yes, we are getting down the the nitty gritty here.) Well, I received a couple voicemail messages from the company today asking if we were ready for the August shipment. So, I went in to our bedroom to check supplies and talk to Kevin about it. To my surprise we still had an unopened box and another box about 1/2 full of these catheters.  When I asked Kevin if he thought we needed to place another order he said, "No, don't bother.  We don't need them because now he has the opposite problem."  He has been going on his own now.  The only problem with that has been that he has no warning. When he needs to go, he really needs to go. Hence the reason he has remained so close to home. He doesn't want to have an accident. All this time I thought it was the pain.  While yes, the pain is a factor, but it's the bathroom thing that has Kevin most worried about getting some place and having a problem. 
 Frankly, I don't blame him.  

I know some may suggest that he wear some kind of adult diaper so we are prepared for situations likes that, but really???!!  Would you want to wear one of those?  So, why do you think it's that easy for someone in Kevin's condition to do that then?  Let's face it. Kevin has always been very private about his bathroom habits and still has a problem even sharing them with me.  I don't know many people who aren't private about these things. Besides, let the poor man have his dignity, I say.  If he doesn't feel comfortable wearing adult diapers, then so be it.  

The only bad part about this whole thing is that Kevin has not left the house much at all except for the occasional doctor's appointment and a couple trips to the social security office....and only because he had to go to those things.  He has missed a lot of church.  I hate going to church alone, but I do understand where my husband is coming from.  

Along the same lines, my husband has only had us fill those prescriptions that are absolutely necessary lately because he doesn't want to stress out the family budget. He has been taking the nerve medications they prescribed, but not any of the pain medications, which make it down right difficult for him to handle being upright and in his wheelchair for long periods of time. I'm talking more than an a half hour. Usually if he has to be in an upright position for longer than half an hour he will be down in bed for the rest of the day. Believe me, I have tried and tried to get Kevin to schedule an appointment with the pain specialist and to get those medications time and time again, but he says he will not get those medications filled until social security finally comes through.  The nerve of that man!  He can be so stubborn and he makes me crazy, but then I totally appreciate what he is trying to do for his family and I can't be upset with him.  Seeing his sacrifice every single day makes me love that man more and more. He blows me away!  It also makes me anxious for social security to kick in right away.  Let's not get me started on that place again.  You know the bane of my existence as I like to affectionately call them.  

It's raining outside!!!!!  YAY! 

When I checked the app on my phone today it said zero chance of rain.  I guess the weather speculators got that one wrong again.  I love it when I am home and it rains.  I love hearing the raindrops hit the house and looking out the windows to see it.  It's the best!  

Ah, I have something funny to share with you.  Or at least I thought it was funny.  So, we live across the street and a few house down from our previous Bishop.  Well, one of their next door neighbors sons have been in prison.  I guess he got caught up with a gang and got into a lot of things he should have. He made mistakes and paid his debt to society.  Well, I decided long ago that if the opportunity came about that I would be friendly and try not to hold that against this young man.  I say try.  I think we established a neighborly exchange when our dog got out and came face to face with his trained fighting dog in the middle of our street.  Thankfully nothing happened and his dog was very friendly and came right up to me and was as nice as could be.  Well, this young man and I talked for a little bit and since then we have waved hello and goodbye to each other from time to time.  Just neighborly pleasantries.

Well, today I pulled into our driveway and this young man was in his yard doing yard work and I immediately asked him what he was doing.  We talked for a bit and then he asked me, "Hey, how is your daughter doing?"  I then asked him which daughter and he said the oldest one.  I said she was doing good and then he asked if she was still in school.  I then told him that she only has a couple classes left and was planning on continuing to get her Master's degree.  I then told him that she was still going to ASU and had been living on campus with her long time best friend, but that changed when she got married in April and now she is learning to live with a boy.  He asked how that was going and I let him know that all was well there.  He then said goodbye and went inside.  

I had no idea this young man had a "thing" for our oldest daughter.  All this time I thought he was just being friendly and our neighborly and that was preventing our home from being broken in to, when all along he just had this thing for our daughter.  Who know??!!!

Of course, I had to text Danielle to tell her she missed her opportunity.  To which Danielle said, "Oh let me see, a temple marriage or a marriage to a convict?....decisions, decisions???  We laughed a little bit over that and then Danielle said, she could tell Chance (her husband) that she was leaving him for a "real Mexican".  She teases Chance because he doesn't like any spicy Mexican food.  In fact, his favorite salsa is almost sweet.  He likes very bland food with almost no spices on them.  Or at least nothing hot which is not what this German family is use to living here in the valley.  We like REAL Mexican food with flavor....and HOT Sauce.  Not that sweet fake stuff!!!  So, we have something to tease Chance about.  

I told Danielle she going to have to bring Chance over to have him "establish his territory" with our neighbors and let them all know Danielle is a married woman. I know, it was silly.  But it was fun to laugh about a little bit.  Neither one of us knew the neighbor had a thing for Danielle.  Now what do we do?  Our little home protection plan is gone.  I knew I shouldn't have told him Danielle got married.  Arg!!  ~smile~smile~  Oh well.  Live and learn.  

Seriously.....I don't think this neighbor will treat us any different.  Believe it or not, I trust this kid more than I trust the other kid that use to live directly across the street from us.  The kid that has a thing for Danielle at least tries to do better and seems to be getting his life in order.  That's always a good thing.  The kid that use to live across the street from us must have either moved back to Texas with his Mom or ended back in jail again.  He spent do much time and energy trying to deal right under his Dad's nose.  How sad is that?!  We had so much traffic to and from that house at all hours of the day and night.  I'm just glad it finally stopped however it ended.

Let's do another Meme.....her goes.


1. Have you ever gone to the “dark side”? I think you could say that I did for a while there in my teens and during college.  Back in the eighties it wasn't called "alternative" it was called new wave. 

2. What shirt are you wearing right now? Just a plain old t-shirt.  Nothing fancy.


3. What’s important about a bed to you? Like type of sheets, size or whatever.  It can't be smaller than a Queen-size and we really need a king these days, it has to be on the soft side, and I like sheets with a very high thread count and nice and cool and cold.  It's one luxury I will splurge on. I would LOVE to try a sleep number bed.  I think that would be the best way for Kevin and I to finally agree on a single bed.  Right now he prefers a bed on the harder side.  That hurts my back.  It helps his. 


4. Can you sing?  Of course I can.  The question you're looking for is "Can I sing so anyone would want to hear it?"  The answer that one is, Yes and No.  I use to be in every single choir available in school from the time I was in 4th grade and right on up through high school....that is until I got to Mesa Mountain View.  I didn't join choir there.  I LOVED to sing.  These days I sing around the house or in the car or at  church.  BUT, if I think someone in the pew next to me might be listening to me I sing very softly.  I don't know exactly why I do that.  I guess I feel a little rusty and I don't want them to laugh at me.  


5. What is something about you that would surprise us?  I was Seminary President for all four years of high school.  


6. Have you been a pirate, Renaissance Fair, or other costumed event? If not, would you for the right event or say cause? I never have at this point, but I would if the right event or opportunity came along.  Sounds like fun.


7. What songs do you sing in the shower? I don't sing in the shower.

8. Favorite girl's name? I remember begging my Mom to not name my little sister Ashley because I wanted to name my daughter that.  You see, all of us kids have names that start with the letter "S" so my Mom couldn't break that tradition.  If she did my little sister would grow up wondering why she didn't have an "S" name.  I also loved the name Brittney, Lindsey, and Whitney.  I wanted to use as many of these names when I had children, but I married into a family that already had an Ashlee, a Brittany, and a Lindsay so I couldn't use those names.  I was crushed, but it all worked out.  I love the names we gave all of our children and wouldn't change them for the world.


9. Favorite boy's name?  The name Kyle was always one of my favorites.  Little did I know that my husband liked that name too.  In fact, he told my SIL who had all girls that she would not have a boy until we had a boy and could name him Kyle Brandon and that is exactly what happened.  He put a curse on my SIL.  Can you believe that?  When Curtis was expected we through about naming him Kendall but it just didn't feel right.  Then we decided on Curtis.  Kurtis, with a "K", was the name of Kevin's older brother that pasted away a few days after he was born.  We asked his parents if it would be okay if we used that name.  We didn't want them to be uncomfortable hearing that name all the time.  I'm glad we decided to use that name.  Something interesting happened to Kevin one day when we were attending a funeral for my grandmother.  She is buried at the same place Kevin's brother is buried.  Well, Curtis was very little at my grandmother's funeral and Kevin took Curtis out of the service so he wouldn't interrupt things.  Well, they went for a walk to see his brother's grave and both he and Curtis remember seeing this man that looked a lot like Kevin and his Father, dressed all in white looking back at both Kevin and Curtis as if to say, thank you for remembering me.  I'll never forget seeing Kevin's face when he came back to where all of us had gathered.  He had this look on his face that I could tell something pretty incredible had just taken place.  Pretty awesome, right?!  To this day I think Curtis, our son, still remembers seeing this man too.  

10. What’s in your pocket or purse right now? In my purse? The usual junk...keys, wallet, hand lotion, pens, a notebook, bullet journal, ibuprofen, cell phone, check book, my daily medications, my two inhalers, sunglasses, a small first aid kit, my badge for work, and that's about it.  


11. Last thing that made you laugh? The whole neighbor thing that just happened tonight that I talked about above.  

12. Best toy as a child? My bike or roller skates. I rode everywhere all day long.

13. Worst injury you have ever had? When I broke BOTH arms at the same time!!!

14. Where would you love to live? Oh, that's a toss up.  Kevin said if we someday end up with a large amount of money he wants to buy or build a home in Eager Arizona and live out the rest of our days there.  He just wants to get away from all kinds of things.  Namely the hot weather.  I would LOVE to live by a lake.  Like the lake we stayed at in Montana.  I think that would be great! 

15. What type of TV do you have? Would you’d like an upgrade? We have a 54-inch  HDTV with 3-D capability. I'm good with it. My husband would like to bump up to an 80-inch at some point I'm sure.  I think if the screen could be as big as the entire wall he would finally be okay with it.  

16. How many dogs do you have? WE don't have any, BUT we have two living with us.  One is Danielle's dog that she HAD to have several years ago but she has left with us since she moved out to live on ASU's East campus.  The other is Kyle's dog.  

17. Do most folks trust you? I think so. I haven't given them any reason not to.

18. What book are you reading?  I haven't done much reading except for scriptures lately, but Lexi found a cool site that will allow me to check out audio books that I can listen to on my phone.  I love that!!!  

19. What’s your favorite classic TV show? Probably Rosanne.  I know.  Yuck.  BUT it's that she is such a bad mother that makes it funny to me.  

20. What’s your favorite sports team?  The Phoenix Suns have always been one of my favorites.  

21. Favorite month and why?  October.  It's the heart of Fall and I love all things related to fall.  The leaves are at their colorful best, the sky is brilliantly blue, it's usually cool but not cold, and the days are shorter driving everyone inside for cozy evenings.  AND did I mention that its nice and cool outside?  Love that!!!


Well folks.  I need to get going.  I have an errand to run.  Gotta get to the post office to mail out those forms Kevin and I had to sign.  Time to get things moving along!  Can't wait.  I hope this group in Maryland is exactly what we need to get a few things done.  More to come on that.

Take care my friends and we will talk again soon.


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