It's been a busy Monday. The day went by so quickly. It feels like I just left the for the about two hours ago instead of several hours ago. I think Lexi is free of the migraine she had yesterday. She finally started feeling better by about nine last night, so she went with me to put money on our M-power card (electricity card). It seems to always fall on a Sunday lately. Needless to say, Lexi's sleep cycle is all messed up now. I came home to her sleeping today because she was up all last night after sleeping pretty much all of Sunday away. Not good! I guess we will be working to help her get that adjusted back to the way it should again.
Something has been on my mind lately. I've been trying to rack my brain to figure out the reason certain things are the way they are and I haven't found the solution. Even without me knowing it this has caused me to pull away from certain things and I don't exactly like that, but it's easier to pull away. Well, today I was reminded that I need to stop that. I mentioned before that I have started reading my scriptures. More specifically the Book of Mormon. Our ward does the S.T.O.M.P. program every summer, but I did not do that. I don't want to rush through the Book of Mormon. I was to take my time and try to learn more. So, I'm only at 1 Nephi 15 as of today. Well, this is what I read today and I got the message loud and clear.....
"Do ye not remember the things which the Lord hath said?—If ye will not harden your hearts, and ask me in faith, believing that ye shall receive, with diligence in keeping my commandments, surely these things shall be made known unto you."
1 Nephi 15:11
Those words hit me clear as a bell and now I know what I need to do. I need to do what is best and NOT become hardened. Now, don't get me wrong. I haven't hardened to the point of what the scriptures would call being "past feeling" it was more like a festering and I could feel the beginning stages creep in. What can I say, I get frustrated sometimes. Even so, I can't let my frustration allow me to harden myself. I have to turn that frustration around and put a positive spin on things and remember to remain humble and teachable because when you are humble and teachable that is when the Holy Ghost can use those traits to enlighten your mind with personal revelation. Hardening your heart is exactly what the adversary wants me to do. He doesn't want me to receive that personal revelation from my Heavenly Father. He wants to plant seeds of doubt and keep me frustrated. He loves that! I don't want him to have that. This is why I have to continue remember to pray and read my scriptures. By doing this I am preventing those feelings of self doubt and frustration from festering and is the key to keeping a positive attitude. What more could anyone want?
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not perfect. I have so many things I need to work on. Things like making it to church each Sunday. Sure, there are things that come up and prevent me from being able to go. This past weekend was a prime example. Lexi and her migraine kept me away. I think the thing that is hard for me is that others say some of the craziest things when they don't see you. Usually these are people who have no idea what has been happening in our lives, but that still doesn't take the sting of their words away. This is when I sometimes get frustrated. I need to find a way to let those things go. I want so much to be at church every single Sunday and to stay through all of my meetings but I just can't always do that. I want to be involved in the ward and be a part of all of the activities but I can't do that right now. It's these feelings that I need to come to grips with. I need to remember that my Heavenly Father knows where my heart is and knows what I am going through and has never left me alone through all of this. I guess it's just going to take some time for me to understand that others really do not mean to be hurtful by the things that they say. In fact, they really do not know what they do when they say the things they say. I just need to keep that perspective and move forward. It easy to say that and to be courageous in word. It's the putting these words in action that I sometimes have trouble with, but I have to keep trying.
Church goers are not the only ones that have made some silly comments. There are others around us that have done the same things and made mean or hurtful comments about our situation. I wish I was better at the quick come backs and could give it right back to them like Kevin seems to be good at. He has a gift for being witty and quick on his feet. That's something I need to learn how to do. And that's enough about that......for now.
I'm excited and hopeful that we are finally beginning to see the weather change here! Already I see a lot of pumpkin recipes out there that I want to try. I love this table I found. It reminds me of everything fall. I love how light and airy it is.
It's been a busy day and I need some rest. Take care my friends and we will talk again soon.