Monday, May 23, 2016

The Good with the Bad.

While I was home today with Kevin, I called Social Security.  Just to give you a little background.  This is probably our third or fourth time applying for disability.  Each time before we were denied so this last time we hired one of those companies to help us.  By hiring them it means that they will take a portion of the first payment which is always larger than the monthly ones because they back date to the day you first applied.  Meaning from the date they received your last application and they give you a lump sum.  I wish it would be from the date you first applied ever.  That would be awesome!  Anyway, we were calling to check status and make sure they had our checking account information.  You know they wouldn't let us update the checking account information until we could confirm the old.  Apparently they had information for a checking account we had several years ago.  Who knew they kept that information?  I'm sure it was a way to verify that they were speaking with the right person but, Wow!!!  Thank goodness I didn't shred everything.  Frankly, I don't know why they still had the old if they denied us all the other times.  You would think that information would have been removed from their records.  If we wouldn't have called to update things, we would never receive his money.  We also found out that Banner Gateway Hospital is dragging their feet in getting medical records to social security.  The records have been requested twice now.  So, the lady said most likely we won't receive a decision until mid-SEPTEMBER!!!!  I couldn't believe it!  Kevin and I were so frustrated!  We initially filed for benefits this last time back in mid-December and now they are telling us it's going to take nearly a year to get an answer.  Then what if they deny us again?  The appeals process sounds like another huge fiasco. Needless to say, I called Banner Gateway's medical records department.  Of course you can't get through to a human being and you have to leave a message and hope for a call back.  I'll give them until Wednesday to call back and then I just might go down there.  This also means that we will have to wait to get Kevin set up for in-home care/therapy until September too.  He has to be on Social Security before we can apply for the other.  I have to say, I am beyond frustrated!  We are holding on by a thread....and I mean one that is raveling quickly.  Enough of this waiting!  Arg!!!

Time to discuss something else.  As many of you know I have been seeing a therapist.  I started seeing her shortly after Kevin came home from the hospital with his spinal cord injury to help me through all of this.  I have to say, at first I was a little frustrated that someone suggested that I go to see her.  Like seeing her meant I was broken or something.  To my surprise I have come to learn that I am not broken, but dealing with way more than the average person has to deal with and I just needed a little help.  In fact, my therapist said that because of certain situations and things happening she was very concerned for me because it was so overwhelming.  Over the past several months she has helped me through a lot and I am very grateful for her.  One of the things she has helped me understand are the reasons others do some of the things they do.  In fact, that has really been eye opening.  I am learning a little bit about people who suffer from borderline personality disorder and/or personality disorder.  I had no idea why certain things happened the way they did and I get it a little more now and I am grateful for the information.  Some of the things I have learned about someone with this are, and I mean I've learned a little (and I mean very little), about the terms splitting, idealization, devaluation, abandonment, severe mood swings, and depression that go along with someone with a borderline personality disorder or full on personality disorder.  The little bit of information has been good.  I am so glad I listened to the person that referred me to this therapist because she has been awesome!  I now count my therapist as one of my greatest blessings!   

On a more positive note.  I have been able to do some more de-cluttering at the house this past weekend.  It's been good.  I still have so much more to do, but I know by doing this it will simplify my life, make things easier for my family and I.....especially Kevin, and it's a good thing!  

Another good thing, I am still doing great without soda in my life!  In the mornings I have raspberry lemonade with no sugar in my cup instead of soda, and I do not even notice a difference!  No headaches!  I did slip up today and have a little soda only because my stomach was upset.  Other than that, I am really doing well in keeping away from soda and the sugar too.  LOVE THAT!!!  Yay me!  

I came across another photo of Curtis.  This one made me laugh because I remember him taking the church hymn book and teaching himself how to lead music many times through high school.  Just to give you a little background....In each of our hymn books (I mean LDS hymn book)  it has instructions on how to lead music.  It's cool!  So, seeing this photo brought back memories of Curtis working hard to learn.  The photo shows Curtis using the skills he taught himself.  ~smile~smile~
Curtis has also tried to teach himself how to play a couple hymns on the piano too.  We have an old piano in our garage that he would pound on from time to time.  He and Lexi would spent hours in the garage playing, or trying to play. Lexi use to play the piano in Seminary, but she was always very nervous and only knew one or two songs.  She got pretty good at it.  Curtis, I have no idea if he played in Seminary.  So, if he ever ends up playing while on his mission I will be surprised.  That will be a photo that just might go down in Schmidt family history.  

Well, it's been a crazy day.  Kevin is still not well.  He has really been bad and I am worried about him.  He has all of his meds so I know it's not that.  The pain seems to be getting worse and worse.  Arg!  I'm hoping for the best of course.
Well, I should get going.  It's late and I need to be up early tomorrow.  Take care my friends and we will talk again soon.
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