Friday, April 29, 2016
I've tried since my last post on Tuesday to sneak a moment to blog but couldn't!
Usually I can sneak a minute or two at a time on my phone or something, not this time.
Kevin has had a rough week!
First flu like symptoms and now more pain than he can handle.
I think the change in the weather may have something to do with the pain though.
I absolutely LOVE the cooler weather, but it does crazy things to my husband.
He gets so weak and can barely move.
Then when he tries to sit up on the side of the bed to cath himself he nearly falls.
It's scary! The man just stresses me out sometimes.
"You're a strong person, Sondra."
I'm not sure how to take it when someone says this to me, especially my husband.
I don't feel strong. I just do what I've gotta do.
Which usually means I hover between making decisions about what's important and what's
important for me to do in any particular day or moment.
None of the in between stuff for this girl.
So, if the choices I make are the reason you call me strong, then I guess I'm strong, even though I hate that word.
I guess I hate that word because I think people say it because they are looking at the outside and not on the inside.
Let's face it, I'm not a small girl and may appear to be physically strong.
Sometimes I think of a flower when I hear those words, "you're strong." I think of Lily of the Valley, which just happen to be the flower for the month of May.
This is Lily of the Valley.
They have these strong outer leaves that protect the delicate bell shaped flowers inside. Sometimes I feel like this flower. Strong on the outside, but delicate on the inside.
Then I just think people who say I am strong are just making a snap judgment and aren't taking the time to really get to know me.
That was until my husband explained why he thinks I'm strong.
Kevin had a nice conversation with an old friend a few days ago.
This friend happens to be a Bishop and he said that his eyes were opened after being a bishop for a while.
He said he came to realize that when families suffer a tragic event like the one our family has experienced that it would end in divorce.
How sad is that??!!
Sure, this hasn't been easy for any of us and I would say especially Kevin and I, but divorce was never even a thought in our minds.
We didn't get married just for the good times.
We got married to get through everything together, including this. Besides, it takes a mother and a father to raise a family even if ours is nearly full grown.
So, if staying and dealing with everything a SCI brings to our relationship is the reason my husband calls me strong, then I guess I can handle being called strong.
It's all good!
Well, I can't stay and chat. Lots to deal with.
Take care my friends and we will talk again soon.
Enjoy your weekend.
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