Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Hold on!! Bumpy ride ahead.

It's been a rough couple of days since Kevin came home from the hospital.  He is in a lot of pain.  It's his legs.  I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not.  He wakes up in the middle of the night crying out in pain in a way I have never heard before.  It's hard to hear, and I'm positive it's hard to feel too.  Kevin has been through so much!  More than most 50 year old men.  (I can't believe he will be 50 this year.). He is sleeping now, finally, without crying out.  Kevin is shaky again.  I worry more about him when he gets shaky because that is usually the first sign that things are taking a turn for the worst.  I'll check him again when he wakes up, but for now he needs his rest.  
Saturday when I had Danielle come with me to the hospital, she talked a lot about her new job.  I appreciated the company and the conversation to help lighten the mood.  I think Kevin appreciated her there too.  So Danielle will be caring for a young girl with cerebral palsy before she goes to school and after school each day.  Danielle will be working for a care group that handles special needs people.  She got the job through her best friend.  Her best friend does this kind of thing for her brother and had the contacts for Danielle.  One phone call and Danielle was all lined up to meet the mother and the 13 year old girl.  When Danielle and her friend were talking I guess the friend suggested that we get Kevin set up for something like this.  First thing, we need to get him on disability and then pursue this after.  I had no idea this was even a possibility!  Do you know what this could do to help our family help themselves.....if this works out???? This is Huge!!!!   I would probably try to do this in addition to working outside of the home, or at least that would be my ideal way to do it.  It's hard enough right now trying to work and be here when Kevin needs me.  I wish I could clone myself but realistically that's not possible.  So, we will see where we are after we get through the first step of getting past the disability red tape.  I never thought we could do something like that with Kevin.  This brings me hope that there is a way to make things work without making us a totally burden on our children and their future. What a huge blessing!  Thanks Brittney for the suggestion.  I really appreciate that.  We arequite a ways away, but this gives us something to look forward to.  Thanks again!
When Kevin sleeps for about an hour at a time, I have been trying to get something done around the house, and do something fun too.  I wish I could say my house was completely spotless, but that isn't the case.  Again. Another reason to clone myself.  I wish I could say I got a lot of the things I want to do done, but that's not true either.  I did manage to pick up a bit and start a little project, but that's about it.  I don't think you really care about my house cleaning tasks so I'll share the first stages of my little project.  Keep in mind, my "busy work" had to be something I could do quietly since Kevin is a light sleeper.  No vacuuming while he sleeps. 
Remember that pink lamp?  Well, I started to peel away the old shade that came with it.  Kind of like this...
I cleaned away all of the plastic shade and fabric, right down to the bare metal frame.  Then with some iridescent pearls and a spool of wire I wrapped all of the metal parts with them.  I still have the bottom part to finish, but take a look. 

I found some chandelier beads to hang from the top to the bottom between the vertical metal pieces and some teardrop crystals to hang from the bottom piece of metal.  I'm waiting for them to come in.  As you can see, this is a work in progress, obviously.  So, more to come on this little project when the beads come in.  It only took about 15 minutes to wire all the pearls to the metal pieces, and about 15 minutes to remove the old shade from the frame too.  Which translates into two days for me lately with everything else happening, but that's okay.  I wasn't expecting to be able to work on this until the weekend.  So, anything I can get done in between running back and forth to Kevin is a plus in my book.  
Danielle just called.  Her and Chance just got back from taking their engagement photos.  They used a photographer that we know and love.  Kasey Reed.  She use to be in our ward.  I was so glad she was available for all the photos.  I told Danielle that the one thing she needs to spend money on was a good photographer, everything else she can cut corners on.  BUT...the photographer is the one thing that will capture and preserve her wedding memories forever.  Literally for their future and for their posterity.  I told Danielle the photos she takes now could one day be shared with her great-great grandchildren.  Just thinking about that sends chills down my spine and makes me want to go back in time to change a few things about our photos.  Kasey does such a great job!  We are just thrilled she gets to be their photographer and from what it sounds like, Danielle thought she did an awesome job today.  I can't wait to see all the photos.  
We are planning on taking a few shots to Office Max or Office Depot to have a few engineer prints of Danielle and Chance printed out.  They are done in black and white only, but they only cost somewhere between $5.00 - $10.00 a piece and you get a billboard size photo to display on those brown cultural hall walls.  Not bad, right??  We thought these would fill up some of the space.  We will use a few from the photos today, and a few of the bridal shots they take a few days before the wedding too.  I told Danielle to think about which ones she wants to use from today so we can go and get those taken care of right away.  That will be one less thing to worry about later if they are done now.  Then we can store the large photos in a tube to keep them nice and safe until the reception.  Danielle was a little sneaky about the location and time of their photos.  I guess she was afraid I'd try to tag along.  Seriously?  I would only come along if she needed me there.  You know, for wardrobe or make-up and hair touch ups or something.  Nothing more.  I'm not a helicopter mother who has to be involved in each and every single detail.  Come on now!  I guess she wasn't taking any chances in me becoming a helicopter mother.  LOL!     

Have you seen these?
Fairy Berries | White 10-Pack
They are these round little LED lighted round spheres that fade on and off and are made to look like fire flies.  Well, we picked up a package and they are super cool!  They are only about 1/2 inch in diameter but they shine bright and look really cool!!.  Their batteries last 20 hours and they can even go in water with no problem.  They float.  I think we will have to pick up a few more of these to place around the room in certain areas at the reception.  What do you think?  They come in all kinds of colors too!  
I'm surprised at all the things we have already for this little shin-dig.  And my husband and kids thought I was nuts to pick up all of these things over the past year to year and a half ago.  I told Danielle to do the same thing and she is glad we both did this.  I knew what I was doing.  It's called being frugal and saving a little money by planning ahead.  Now to finalize all the details.  

There was one thing we didn't have and that is a place to put cards people bring to the reception.  I stumbled upon this mailbox someone made and told Danielle about it and I even sent her the photo.  She loved it and picked it up today.  So, this afternoon Danielle dropped off the mailbox, all of the flowers for her bouquet, some table linens, and some things for the tables too.  She offered to bring everything else, but I'm not ready for that yet.  I need to get a little more organized before that happens.  Anyway...we plan to use this by the gift area.  Here is the photo.

It's cute isn't it????  It's mounted on an old vintage gumball machine base and it was cheaper than any mailbox we could have bought.  I think it will work out great!

Even with the thrill of the upcoming wedding of our oldest child, It's been a rough start to the beginning of this year, but we still see many blessings and the Lord's hand in our lives.  I feel bad.  We haven't been to church once yet since the beginning of the year.  It's been one thing after another.  Kevin was in the hospital right  up until the beginning of the new year, so I was home with him then.  Lexi had a migraine one Sunday and Kevin was still bad so I stayed home to care for them.  Then there was Stake Conference.  And then last weekend Kevin was back in the hospital again.  I have also fallen out of the habit of reading my scriptures daily and saying my personal prayers regularly.  Don't get me wrong...I pray, but lately I feel like I have been praying when there is a crisis instead of in the way I should, to always remember Him.  I have some repenting to do for sure and some habits to get back into.  For a while there I will admit I was feeling a little blue. Probably because I wasn't doing what I needed to do, right??!!   I still have moments when that happens, but I've been trying to keep busy, well at least until this week began, and that seems to be helping.  I guess I just feel like I am letting everyone down in one way or another.  I can't be everywhere and be everything I need to be for everyone right now.  It's just not physically possible and I feel like I am always letting someone down.  I hate that and it's starting to take its toll on me.  Thank goodness for a wise bishop who could tell I was drowning and made sure I got to someone that could help me navigate through all of this.  That man!  He probably has no idea just how much I appreciate all he has done for me personally.  Every time I see him he always says he wishes he could do more, but I'm here to tell you he has gone above and beyond!  I honestly do not know how he does all that he does.  It's amazing to see.  I know without a doubt he is the right man to be our bishop!  In fact, I feel like he was called just to help me and only me, but I know better than that.  I know he is doing so much for several others too.  He isn't the only one that has helped.  We have been blessed by this ward in so many other ways too.  Meals, a ramp for our front door, painting of the ramp, rides for my children, friendly calls just to check up on me and our family, or cards and Facebook messages, offers to help with the wedding, a Relief Society President that has been amazing too!  Not to mention the countless members ready to form a phone tree and come running at a moments notice to help Kevin if needed.  I cannot begin to thank all of these people.  I've wanted to at least bear my testimony on Fast and testimony Sunday and say a little something then, but the knees just do not move and I just don't stand, or we don't get to Sacrament Meeting on those Sunday's.  I will say this...It's these people that remind me just how very blessed I am and who help me to snap out of those moments when I feel down.  What a blessing these angels here on earth have been and I feel very blessed to have them in my life.  Thank you for all you do.  You are amazing and I appreciate all you do.  It's humbling to see, witness, and even receive the blessings of service in action.  

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