Friday, January 22, 2016


Do you ever have days where you just want to scream??!!!  Well, yesterday was that kind of day for me.  Oh my gosh!  Kevin was not well and needed my help.  We got him through his ER visit and we managed to keep him from being admitted, as long as he agreed to get his medicine right away, drink tons of water, have me here to "babysit", and bring him back if he spikes a higher fever, gets more disoriented, cannot get in or out of his wheelchair alone, and has trouble forming words again.  It is the craziest thing to see this man go from being his normal happy go lucky self, to a frail, disoriented, out of control, old man in what seems like the blink of an eye. No joke!  I wouldn't believe it if I didn't see it with my own eyes.  Everyone tells me that's because his resistance is lower than the average persons, because his body is still focused on the spinal cord injury.  When this happens, for lack of a better example, he resembles what I remember seeing of old men struggling with things like Alzheimer's or stroke victims in nursing homes that need constant supervision.  I don't know any other way to describe what happens to him when he gets sick.  It scares me to think about what will happen if he ends up with something other than a bladder infection.  STOP!  I can't even go there right now.  How on earth will I handle that?  STOP IT!  STOP IT!  I told myself we aren't going to dwell on the what ifs and the things we can't control.  I just can't.  It's called self-preservation.  That's what that is and it's time to change topics..  More on Kevin and what we are dealing with today later possibly.   For now, he is resting.  

Later in the day I found out Kyle left his wallet in the car.  That meant he was in downtown Phoenix will no identification and no money.  Not a good combination. It also meant I would have to pick him up at the end of his shift too.  Normally Kyle rides the light rail home and he and I race each other to see who makes it home first at night.  I would pick him up in the evenings so we could ride in the carpool lane together, but trying to get to downtown Phoenix after 5 p.m. is next to impossible.  So, Kyle rides the light rail instead and I weed through traffic by myself at night.  I was stressed out worried about Kevin the entire time I was gone to go get Kyle as I circled around the police sub-station over and over again waiting for him to come out.  No parking or having to pay to park sucks!  Thankfully Kevin slept the whole time I was gone and Lexi kept a close eye on her Dad too.  She would have called me if anything would have happened.  I had visions of coming home to Kevin on the floor and totally out of it.  Kyle and I would have had a hard time getting him back into bed for sure if that happened!

Later after we got home and while I was peeling potatoes for dinner, Daniellle called.  She said her school counselor called and left her a voicemail message to tell her she might be able to graduate in May.  He said he was doing some checking on her credits from Chandler-Gilbert Community College to see if they transfer.  If they do, we are going to have a wedding and two receptions in April, followed by an ASU graduation in May!!  If the two classes do not transfer the counselor said they could add two credits to her school load now and then she could still graduate.  That is, if Danielle wants to do that.  If it turns out that they have to add credits to her school load she may just opt to wait until December to graduate because let's face it, Danielle has a lot on her plate all ready.  The wedding, working full-time, plus all the time off for the wedding, may not work with added classes.  That's a lot!!!  Anyway, she will figure it out soon and we will know more on that later.  I'm hoping her CGCC credits will transfer and she won't need to do anything but get through this semester to graduate.  It's about time this school thing worked in her favor for a change.  Her plan is to go right back for her Masters anyway.  She has decided to  go a little different route with teaching.  She wants to teach literature not grammar and punctuation.  We will see how that all unfolds later for her.  Danielle has been going to school for so long now, I don't think she is going to know what to do with herself without homework.  I joked and said if she graduates in May, gets married in April, and follows through on a few others plans she has, this whole things sounds like a recipe for a lots of free time with the new hubby.  And you know what that usually means for newly weds!  They could become pregnant before the end of the year!  Holy cow!!  I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet.  As if I have a say in that.  LOL!  Wow!!

Wedding Plans Update:  Sometime ago when our son was thinking of getting married his then fiancé showed me this website for party supplies.  This site sells tablecloths, overlays, runners, chaircovers, plates, and just about everything else you could need for the basic party.  This site sells each floor length cloth tablecloth (at least the size we need) for about $10.00 a piece.  This is the place Danielle got the overlays...20 of them for less than $50.  So we ordered the long tablecloths, six of them, for $60 including shipping.  We ordered 86x152 inch ones and each cost $9.29 a piece.  Not bad for cloth, right??!!   Well, they came to the house today in a big box.  We plan to order the round ones too.  This way we get the colors we want and don't have to worry about messing up ward or stake tablecloths.  I know how protective some Relief Society Sisters can be about them and I say, they have enough to deal with, why stress them out.  Plus then we will have them for future use too.  Yay!  Thank you Danielle!

It's interesting to me when I learn something new about someone I've known for several years.  Something I never dreamed was an issue because this person seemed perfectly fine.  It's something this person struggles with each and every day.  It's a health issue.  Requiring certain kinds of medication.  This issue isn't like other health issues that you can actually see just by looking at a person, but the type that effects their personality when they do not take their medication.  So much that they are a completely different person without their medicine!  The medicines cost a lot too.  I have to say, this explains so much!  Things like why I have always wondered why certain people seemed to always protect this person.  Things all of us would have totally been understanding of and equally as protective of, had we known.  While, at the same time, I do understand why this person kept it quiet. Frankly, I don't blame them.  This just goes to show that sometimes you just never know what things a person struggles with.  Sometimes you just have to be patient and realize they are doing the best they can.  Talk about eye opening information and even answers to my own prayers on certain things too.  Now, I have a few more questions to pray about, and some repenting to do because I could have handled certain things better before, when I didn't know.  
I am grateful again to the whisperings of that still small voice who confirmed that something wasn't exactly on track there and my feelings were right on, as well as comforting me when I questioned certain things.

  The Holy Ghost will tell you things no one else dares to say and will teach you ALL things, even calm your troubled heart when you do not understand, until you are given answers.  I have said this before, but I'll say it again....I do not know what I would do without the gospel in my life.  My parents joined the church when I was about 4 or 5 and we were living on an Air Force Base in Texas.  Later we moved here to Arizona where my parents served in many callings and I attended Primary and was baptized at the age of eight.  At the end of my 6th grade year of school we moved again.  This time to California where I attended church but struggled to make friends with the girls in my ward.  Later I stopped going to church all together and spent a lot of time with kids in my neighborhood not exactly making the best choices and I found myself in some situations that could have caused me a lot of pain and difficulty, or worse.  Thankfully, I made it through.  Later, when I was a brand new Freshman in High School things changed and I started to attend seminary.  I started late and still struggled to make friends with the girls in my ward, but I was attending meetings.  I still hung out with a lot of non-member friends and still made many bad choices, but somehow I got through it.  To this day, I will NEVER forget those feelings I felt and the incredible bright light that shined into, very literally like it never did again, on that first seminary class I attended!  I knew without a double that I was exactly where my Heavenly Father wanted me to be.  That experience changed me and helped me to try harder to be a little better.  I still struggled with the girls in the ward, but eventually I got the courage to tell my Bishop about my struggles.  To this day I do not know what or if he did anything about what I had to say,  because one of the people I struggled with happened to live in his home and was his daughter, but things changed from that moment on with her and I.  I also had some amazing Young Women's leaders and great parents that helped me get through those rough teenage years too.  My point here is that I am not perfect.  I know that some of the choices I made as a youth could have changed the course of my life forever.  Thankfully I got through it.  I also think that my parents made the right choice to move back to Arizona during the summer between my Junior and Senior year of High School.  That move did two things.  It got me out of a rut of living life on the edge and out of my so called comfort zone.  It forced me to start over.  But even after the move I still struggled with girls in the ward.  Just the names and faces changed. (What is it about girls at that age anyway???).  If I would have stayed in California I know my life would not be what it is today.  I am so grateful that my parents made that choice, even though I was determined to not move with them.  I also know that when my Dad sat me down and told me he wanted to see me graduate high school and move with them my heart was softened and I could not say no to that.  From that moment I wasn't determined to stay in California, even though I still wasn't excited about Arizona at all.  I didn't throw a big teenage fit about it anymore.  I do know that my choice to willingly go and do the things my father asked was rewarded with blessings beyond my wildest dreams, because Arizona was where I met and married my husband.  A return missionary.  One of those good guys.  My life continues to be blessed for being obedient to my parents wishes all those years ago and proves that people can change.  And that sometimes circumstances, surroundings, and geography play a part in certain things, like losing the labels people place on you.  It's hard to make people believe you can or have changed when they fail to see.  It's all about not judging and giving some people the benefit of the doubt, and trust that change can and does happen.  I'm living proof that it does.  Enough said.
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