Friday, October 2, 2015

Just call me Cinderella.

 Things I am Grateful For:

1) A house to clean because it means I have a place to call home.

2) Early wake-ups because it means I have a job to go to and things to do.

3) Dirty laundry because it means we have clothing to wear.

4) Dishes to wash, because we have good food to eat.

5) Crumbs on the floor because we have meals as a family.

6) Toilets to clean which proves we have indoor plumbing...what a blessing!!! 

7) A noisy home, which means I have important people in my life.

8) People calling my name, which means those important people value my input and opinion.

9) Sore eyes from the bright lights, which proves we have electricity,....meaning air conditioning!

10) I'm sore and worn out each and every night, which means I am still alive! 

From the Camera:

From the Craft Room and Other Cool Things:

Check this out!  Just think of all the possibilities....especially this time of year...LOVE IT!

From the Heart and Spirit:

From the Kitchen:

Quick Homemade Fudge Recipe

From the Schmidt's:

This week is a bit of a blur for me.  It went by quickly, which is fine with me.  I played catch up all week after last weekend.  Funny how that works out sometimes.

I've been thinking a lot about some things people have said to me, said to my husband, or said to my son and daughter.  This week has been a week of interesting information.  Some of it we weren't sure we even wanted, but as time has gone by we have learned we absolutely do want this.  

The week started with an unexpected visit to our Bishop's office.  He wanted to check up on us and figure out what more he could do to help out.  That man!  Can I just tell you how incredible he is?  We are so very blessed to have a Bishop like him, and I'm certain his counselors are just as amazing too.  We just seem to talk more to our Bishop than we do his counselors.  It just works out that way.  I have to say, they are awesome!  If you only knew how much they all do for us, then you would understand what I mean when I say these men are awesome!

As the week progressed, there were a few things Lexi prepared for a Seminary devotional that really got me thinking.  She talked about the Liahona and the inner compass we all have.  It was awesome and it really made me stop and think about the things she said.  It was really good!  Her Seminary teacher was even impressed with her choice.  Lexi said he said, "that was really good" about five times.  I'm just proud of her for not even coming to me for direction or help with something like this.  She just does these things all on her own.  I love watching my children learn and grow, and then sitting back to let them share what they know.  It is the best feeling ever!  I love that she is confident in her beliefs and has faith in the direction she receives from that still small voice and then acts on those promptings.  Way to go Lexi!  Love, LOVE, love that!!!

Kevin had an appointment with his old pain specialist this week.
He changed up Kevin's medication and insisted on seeing old verses new MRI results.  He wants to read them himself.  You see, this was the doctor that referred Kevin to the surgeon that did the operation that caused the spinal cord injury.  Needless to say, the pain specialist was telling his staff, as Kevin left the office, that "they really messed him up!"  That was not exactly what he said.  He used a swear word that we will not repeat in the place of the word really.  I'm just glad this doctor is so determined to get some answers for Kevin.  The surgeon told Kevin that he had had a stroke during surgery.  Yet, he was never treated for a stroke post-op.  I told Kevin there are blood tests a cardiologist could run that would tell us if he has ever had a stroke.  Quite frankly, I think the surgeon is full of it!  Needless to say, Kevin is determined to get answers and he is pulling ALL of his records from everywhere.  He wants to know exactly what happened.  I do not blame him one bit!!!  I want answers to and I know this will help him heal.  I also know if some thing like a stroke did actually happen, then we need to know for future reference.   

Kevin also talked to someone about Social Security Disability Benefits.  He has to re-apply online again.  Which is frustrating.  I was hoping we could just go down to the office and get things taken care of....apparently not.  Bummer!  That whole process is not fun but we need to do it.  This weekend will be a good time to get it done.  

I had a visit with my therapist.  We talked about a few things that have come up over the past few weeks.  I love seeing her because she always helps me understand things better.  This time we talked about (without going into detail) staying away from situations, places, and people that hurt.  She said it's best to stay away because we all need time to heal.  She used this as an example:  If someone hit you and hurt you, you would give your self time to heal from the injury.  So, you need to give yourself time to heal from other types of injuries too.  In fact, she said, our entire family needs time to heal from this type of injury.  She said I need to think of myself as Cinderella.  When she said that, I immediately let her know that was not a happy thought for me because I have been called Cinderella in a not so nice way.  Then she went on to explain why she wanted me to think of myself as Cinderella.  She said I was the one doing everything around the house.  I am the one working.  I am the one taking care of my kids.  I am the one taking care of Kevin.  I am the one taking care of the house. She said I was the one holding EVERYTHING together!  Literally.  I agree.  I am.  BUT, at the same time, I do not feel like I am alone.  I said, sure, things get a hard at times, but I'm not feeling stressed out like I thought I might be.  On a side note:  Our Bishop was concerned that I was going to end up in the bed right next to Kevin if I didn't watch it.  He said I have too much on my shoulders.  He is right.  I do. I think he just wanted me to know the ward was here to help out so start asking.  He is pretty amazing!  My therapist just wants me to realize that we ALL need time to heal from a few things, but ME especially.  So, in an effort to try and understand what she means by thinking of myself as Cinderella, here are a few things I have learned about Cinderella today....

Cinderella is not just a romantic love story/fantasy, it’s a love story about the resilience of the human spirit, and the journey from love, to loss, to love, to loss, to love again. My daughters learned some valuable lessons from the film, some of which I’d like to share with you, so you can feel as uplifted as we did when we left—believing in love and magic, just a little more.

Here are 25 quotes and life lessons I gathered in an hour and twenty minutes:

1. Cinderella saw the world, “not how it is, but how it could be.”Maybe if we all saw the world as Cinderella did, the world would be a more peaceful place. Her hope and faith fueled her optimism. If we were all a little more optimistic, think of how it could be…

2. “I believe in everything,” said Cinderella’s mother. “Well then, I believe in everything,” said Cinderella. Speaking of fuel, parents’ beliefs fuel their children’s beliefs. If you are a parent, make sure your beliefs are loving and kind.

3. “Sorrow can come to any kingdom no matter how happy.”Pain is inevitable, and will visit everyone at some point in our lives, despite how joyous and content we are. Also, it is important to remember, that no matter how painful it may be right now, joy will come. Joy will come, just wait…

4. “Pain turned to memory.” Pain is inevitable, and so is healing. Pain always fades with time.

5. “Have courage and be kind.” Rules to live by.

6.  “Magic, believe in magic.” Another rule to live by.

7. It’s better to be alone, than be surrounded by poor company.When Cinderella was banished to the attic, (at first) she felt free. No one could bother her or boss her around. She found freedom in solitude; freedom from the negativity of her step mother and step sisters.

8. She had few friends, but the ones she had, “she treated with an open heart and an open hand.”  Give. Give. Give.

9. Everything happens for a reason, even the bad things. The bad things that happen to us, always seem to lead to good things in the end. “If the step sisters hadn’t been cruel, she would never have met the prince.”

10. “Just because it’s done, doesn’t mean it should be done.” Exactly.

11. “It was her spirit, her goodness,”  the prince said, as he described Cinderella, to his father. Our spirit outshines our outsides, always. No matter how much or how little we have, our spirit is the richest and most undeniable part of us.

12. “What is a bowl of milk? Nothing, but kindness is everything, “ said her fairy godmother. Our actions are everything. Make them kind actions, and we will change the world.

13. The arrival of the fairy godmother reminded me that real life angels do appear when we start to forget or disbelieve in the magic. They come around to restore our faith in all the forces working together in our benefit, that we just can’t see.

14. As the clock struck midnight, it was a reminder—we can only be someone else for so long. We can only pretend until time is up, and time always reveals who we really are. This is what Cinderella is all about.

15. Cinderella is not just a romantic love story, it is a tale about honor—honoring others and honoring ourselves by  accepting who we are, stripped down to nothing but our kindness and our courage—our spirit.

16. “Even though she was sad, her spirit was not broken.” The spirit can’t break, it can’t.

17. “We need not look outside our borders for strength and guidance. Everything we need is right before us.” Always.

18. “Marry for love, not advantage.” Always.

19. There is a beautiful significance to the glass slipper—there’s only one, you. No one, no matter how hard they might try, can take your place or fill your shoes. You belong to you. Period.

20. “Kindness is free, love is free.”  To which Cinderella’s stepmother replied, “No! It isn’t!” To which, my daughter, Ruby leaned over and (whispered in my ear) proclaimed, “Yes it is! Yes it is!”

21. “No!” Cinderella finally says no to her stepmother, not out of defiance, but out of courage. Saying no takes courage.

22. Love will find you no matter where you are. She was locked in an attic, in the middle of the forest, but he found her. He found her.

23. “To be seen as we truly are, is the biggest risk we will ever take. Will we be enough as we really are?” And one day, the question will come, you will be asked, “Who are you?” And if you’re brave enough, you will answer, “I have nothing. I am nothing, but who I am.” And you will ask the person, who asks you who you are, “Will you take me as I am?” And one day, the answer will be, “Of course, I will. But only if you will take me as I am.” Hand in hand, he or she will ask you one final question, “Shall we?” And you will reply, “Yes, we shall.”  Yet, before you turn and walk toward the future, there’s one last thing you must do…

24. “I forgive you.” Forgiveness sets us free and lets love all the way in. You must forgive all of the pain and sorrow that brought you to this moment; that brought you to love again.

25. Although I’ve quoted it already, just in case you’ve forgotten—remember to be courageous

I love this!  Now I need to see the NEW Cinderella movie.  I've never really liked animated movies, and since the new Cinderella is not animated, it may be right up my alley.  Can't wait to see it.

More about Kevin:  He is taking it easy these past couple of days because his left leg is killing him.  The pain specialist said they may need to get him in to check for a blood clot.  Needless to say, we are watching it closely.  If even the slightest of swelling happens we are off to the Emergency Room!  That would not be good!  That poor man has been through SO MUCH over the past couple months.  The fact that he is a complete mess is beyond me.  Don't get me wrong....he gets mad, depressed, and down, but he eventually snaps out of it.  Thank goodness.  

The other day I had to have a "little chat" with him about his attitude.  He was downright mean to me and Kyle.  The people who are taking him to every single appointment.  The people who are making sure he gets up for showers, to get dressed, to do his exercises, for meals, for bathroom time, for catheter time, and medications too.  One day Kyle and Kevin picked me up from work and the entire ride home Kevin was just mean to me and Kyle.  Then when we got home and tried to get him out of the car he got mean again and told me to just leave and let Kyle help him.  So, I did.  I no sooner got my purse down and my shoes off when I noticed Kyle was standing by our mailbox and Kevin was no where to be seen.  Kyle had left his dad at the car to fend for himself.  Then when Kyle came into the house he said Dad can get himself out of the car.  When I started to scold Kyle for leaving his father, Kyle let me know just how mean his Dad had been to him.  Needless to say, I went outside and had a conversation with my husband.  I explained that he needed to stop with the attitude and quit taking out his frustration on us.  I said the this isn't exactly easy for any of us and it certainly isn't easy for these children to watch their father deteriorate and suffer like this.  AND we are all learning how to deal with this as we go.  We are not pros at this in the least.  Kevin listened and then the tears just started to fall for both of us.  That man!!!  I know he is really struggling.  I can only imagine what it must be like to go from walking into the hospital thinking the planned surgery would only take an hour or two and he would be back home and life would be much better by the end of weekend, to going to needed to stay in the hospital and NOT being able to move without the assistance of four nurses just to roll over in bed.  Then to find out you can't even use the bathroom like you use to anymore.  AND  then to learn that you will have remain in the hospital for the next 8 weeks just to learn how to get in and our of a wheelchair and someone was going to teach you how to make yourself go number 1 and number 2 again AND you will have to do this every 4 hours day or night.  Not to mention you will be living out the rest of your life living in a so called fish bowl because everyone will be able to see everything you do from now on.  The doors on the bedrooms, bathrooms, and where ever else are coming down.  Privacy as you once knew it is over!  Not to mention the mental picture and state you are in.  How on earth could you NOT get angry?  How on earth could you NOT want to retreat and take time to just come to grips with all of this before you bring other people into the mix?  No one really knows what this is like until you go through it yourself.  It's a lot!!!  A lot to expect of yourself.  A lot to expect of your spouse.  AND a lot to expect of your children.  I feel for this husband of mine.  Thank goodness for all of the people involved in his care.  We couldn't do it without ALL of them!!!  AND believe it or not, we are so very grateful for those people who have given us the space to come to grips with this.  It means a lot.  

It's late.  Take care my friends and we will talk again soon.  

From the Missionary:

The Stamford Zone got rewarded with Dunkin Donuts for having exceptionally clean cars.  Thank you Elder and Sister Gardner for managing the automobiles and encouraging our missionaries.  (DO YOU SEE ELDER SCHMIDT IN THIS PHOTO??? YOU CAN"T MISS THE SMILE!!)

Quote of the Day:
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