Monday, October 27, 2014

Words, words, words

Over the past few days I've been thinking about some of the things others have said to me.  Recently I had a conversation with someone that I have talked to often over the course of many years.  The last time I talked with this person they thought that I knew all about a situation they were going through.  Sure, I knew a little of their situation, but I didn't know everything. This person seemed a little upset that I mentioned not knowing certain aspects of the situation.  As I was talking with this person I couldn't help but think..... this person sure thinks a lot of themselves to think that I remember every aspect of their lives.  After all, we have had a lot happen in our own lives lately to cloud over previous conversations.  This is what sparked my interest in what others have said to me.  And I thought about some of those things.  Some good, some not so good, and here is what I came up with...

  • The meanest thing anyone ever said to me:  When I was called Cinderella and told me that life does not always end like a fairy tale.  I won't  share who said this to me because just the thought of these words still hurt.  
  • The kindest thing anyone ever said to me:  I have a really hard time accepting compliments.  But any compliment is considered very kind in my book.  
  • The most honest thing anyone ever said to me:  I recently had the chance to help a friend with her daughter's wedding flowers.  It was right after Kevin came home from the hospital and we were all super stressed and concerned about his recovery.  Her daughter wanted very specific flowers that we could not get in fresh at the time of her wedding.  So, we went the only route we could and that was with silk flowers.  Well, the bride hated the silk flowers we found.  But, they were the only ones we could find.  So, I prepared the flowers to her specifications and she hated it and she told me.  So, we went another route and she hated that too.  She was set on fresh flowers.  The silk just looked to fake and the flowers we found were too much the same.  So, I went and found a way to make the silk flowers look more real by making some look like buds.  The bride still was not happy.  In fact, I ended up telling the bride I couldn't do her flowers because she kept changing her mind.  It got down to the 10:30 p.m. before the bridal pictures were to be taken the next morning at 8:00 a.m. and there was no pleasing this bride.  I had the bridal bouquet done and at 10:30 p.m. the bride wanted me to go back to the bouquet I had originally made for her.  I was so frustrated.  So, I ended up giving the bride what I had and not finishing the rest of the flowers.  All in all, I was glad the bride was honest with me, but this was the hardest thing I have ever done and I stand by my decision, even though it about killed me to not finish the work.  
  • The thing said to me that had the biggest impact on my life:  i would say when my father sat me down to convince me to move to Arizona with the rest of our family.  I was determined to stay in California with my friends.  When I look back on that conversation I am very much aware of how my Heavenly Father played an important part in that conversation.  Not just in the words spoken, but also in the way the words were spoken and the way those words were received.  I know that the Holy Ghost was there to help my father say the things that would soften my heart.  To this day I am amazed that all he had to say was that he wanted me to move with them so he could watch me graduate from High School.  I didn't put up a fight or anything.  Years later I see why it was so important for me to move with my family.  It was just a few short months after our move that I met the man I would spend eternity with, my husband.  
  • The most important thing ever said to me:  Kevin and I were sealed in the Mesa, Arizona Temple by a family friend.  When my dad was serving as the Stake Executive Secretary of the Salt River Stake many many years ago he met Don Smith.  Brother Smith and my dad had a lot in common and spent a lot of time talking about the military and flying.  It was those conversations that sparked a lifetime friendship with Brother Smith for Kevin and I.  When Kevin and I were getting ready to go to the temple together he mentioned that President Smith would be available on certain days to do the sealing if we wanted him to.  So, we scheduled out sealing around those times.  The day we went through the temple and were sealed together was a busy day.  President Smith told us to not try and remember everything because it just wasn't possible to do.  BUT, what Kevin and I did do was go back to the temple.  On one occasion we had the opportunity to go through and do sealings again with President Smith.  This time President Smith announced to the entire room that we were newly weds and he had some things he wanted to make sure we caught, so he might spent a little extra time with each of us.  AND that is exactly what he did.  One of the things I remember President Smith pointing out to me was that I was a help mate to my husband.  Out of all the things President Smith said that one day while we were doing sealings, I have NEVER forgotten those words.  In my opinion they have helped me through those times when I felt that I needed to make decisions in my own life and for both Kevin and I.  It is those words that remind me that my husband and I are a team and my role in that team is to help my husband lead and guide our family.  
  • The most embarrassing thing anyone ever said to me:  Where do I begin???  Oh, there are several embarrassing things.  I could tell you all kinds of stories.  BUT, some are just WAY TOO EMBARRASSING to share.  This one could be classified under shocking too.  Several years ago when Kyle was super young and we were very inactive I use to say a certain swear word quite often.  (It begins with the letter S)  Now remember, I was raised to not use curse words.  My parents NEVER swore and if they got made enough to swear my mother generally used other words to get her point across.  So, here we were with two young children trying to get back to church.  We were sitting in Sacrament Meeting when Kyle dropped something and the first words out of his mouth were,.....this swear word, right in the middle of the silence during the passing of the sacrament.  I was mortified!  
  • The most shocking thing anyone ever said to me:  I think the most shocking thing someone ever said to me was when I found out I was Rh negative just before I gave birth to my first child.  You see, when I was younger my mom told me about babies that were born with the Rh factor.  It use to be that these children would have to undergo a full blood transfusion right after birth.  The Rh Factor can cause pregnancy problems if you are Rh negative and your baby is Rh positive.  Rhesus (Rh) factor is an inherited trait that refers to a specific protein on the surface of red blood cells.  If your blood has the protein, you're Rh positive - the most common Rh factor.  If your blood lacks the protein, you're Rh negative.  Right after I found out I was pregnant with my first child I found out that I was Rh negative.  The nurse in the doctor's office told me after I went to their office for a check up.  I must have cried all the way home thinking I would have a baby that required a blood transfusion.  Luckily I had two older sister-in-laws who were also Rh negative.  Thankfully they explained that all this meant is that I would get an extra shot before the birth of my baby and again after each birth.  What a relief that was!  
  • The best thing ever said to me:  Kevin and I dated for a couple of months before he left on his mission.  Just before he left he told me that he wanted me to be around when he got home.  Then when he returned after being gone for 2 years and three days he said these four little words, "Will you marry me?"   I still remember the place and time.  We had stopped at a park near my parents home and he purposed to me under a tree at the park.  
  • The funniest thing ever said to me:  Kevin and I met at a Young Adult Dance.  That's right, back in the 80's there were Young Adult dances just about every night.  I remember dances every Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday.  Kevin was the first person I danced with at a Young Adult Dance and the last person I danced with at a dance.  Kevin likes to tell a story to our kids and pretty much anybody that will listen that I stalked him.  NOT EVEN!  Sure I was interested in Kevin, but once he caught on he completely took over and pursued me.  There was no stalking going on at all.  Kevin loves to tell your kids that I stalked him, and I think they believe him.  LOL!  
  • The biggest compliment ever said to me:  I think the biggest compliment I have ever received is whenever I give a talk or teach a lesson that touches the lives of others and they tell me how the words spoken touched them.  Of course I can never take credit for those moments, because I was NEVER the true teacher in those situations and it was the Holy Ghost.  It just means a lot to be able to says the words the Lord wants me to say.  It can be a pretty amazing experience.  I love that!
  • My most favorite thing ever said to me:  Pretty much any time my husband tells me he loves me, the kids tell me they move me, my parents tell me they love me.  Those are the best moments!!!

Quote:  The words you choose to say something are just as important as the decision to speak.


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