I spent a lot of time preparing several lists today. A list of projects I needed to complete. A list of things I needed to get to complete the projects. And a list to of things I needed to order from the wholesale florist. Throughout the day I ended up reviewing, rewriting, and revising all of my lists. I even made a few phone calls and then rewrote, regrouped, and reviewed my lists again. I came home pretty excited to start knocking out the things on my lists. In fact, I was certain all of the projects would be done by Monday morning. BUT, things have changed. It's funny how your priorities change at a moments notice and all of a sudden your lists really don't matter much anymore. In fact, you sometimes find that you don't even need your lists anymore. One thing, one word can change everything. Isn't it funny how that happens? One word. So, in keeping with the idea of one word. I came up with a whole new list. A list of questions that you can only answer with one word.
Check it out....
1. Where is your cell phone? pocket
2. Your significant other? Kevin
3. Your hair? Straight!
4. Your mother? Amazing!
5. Your father? Smart!
6. Your favorite thing? family
7. Your dream last night? NONE
8. Your favorite drink? Cold
9. Your dream/goal? family
10. The room you're in? mine
11. Your ex? who?
12. Your fear? spiders
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? here
14. Where were you last night? sleeping
15. What you're not? sneaky
16. Muffins? Pumpkin
17. One of your wish list items? furniture
18. Where you grew up? California
19. What are you wearing? clothes
20. Your TV? off
21. Your pets? annoying
22. Your computer? on
23. Your life? crazy!
24. Your mood? bummed!
25. Missing someone? Gene (my father-in-law)
26. Your car? driveway
27. Something you're not wearing? Make-up
28. Favorite Store? Hobby Lobby
29. Your summer? Gone
30. Like someone? family
31. Your favorite color? Pink
32. Last time you laughed? Today
33. Last time you cried? Tonight
34. Your mattress? Soft
35. Your home? House
Today has been a really hard day for all of us. For some of us, it may take a long time to recover from today. It's been really difficult. My mother-in-law has only been in the extended care facility for only a couple of days now. Between the hospital and the extended care facility she found out that she has a heart murmur. I told her it could have come when she had pneumonia a while back. Tonight she is spiking a fever. They were checking it every ten minutes. They told her that if it was not down in 1 hour she was going back to the hospital. Kevin has been down to the facility twice now. He is really worried about her. He had the boys take him. They plan to give her a blessing tomorrow. The nurse at the extended care facility has called the doctor. This isn't good.
Kevin is at his wits end. He is trying to get better himself. Now he has all of this to deal with. Alone too. (well, with my help and the kids help too) As if we were not all ready tapped out with all we are dealing with all ready. No, I'm not complaining about helping my mother-in-law. She needs our help and no one else is stepping up. We are all she has right now. Is that fair? Of course not! Especially in the situation Kevin is in, and all that I have on my plate all ready. Not fair at all.
The last time I talked to the Bishop he wanted me to go see someone. So I could talk and get it all out. He said he was worried about me and thought I was dealing with a lot right now. (I tend to internalize things and not let them out) YES, I am dealing with a lot. YES, I am trying to hold everything together. It does get frustrating at times. Usually when that happens I jump in the car and take a drive around our neighborhood. Sometimes you just have to get out of the house for a minute or two to see a new perspective. It helps. BUT, I know I hold a lot in. I know I tend to NOT share a lot of things. And you thought I shared everything on this blog, didn't you? Nope! I don't. I think talking to someone will help. We will see what happens. Thank goodness for LDS Social Services. :) Am I embarrassed to admit I could benefit from talking to someone? No! It doesn't bother me at all. It might bother me if the people I was seeing were not LDS. That fact alone brings comfort. :)
Well, its been a long day. In fact, I would say we have crammed enough into this day, emotionally speaking. I need to get to bed. Have a good night. Talk with you soon.