This has been a wild day. For those of you still wondering, Kevin is still down for the count and needs help getting around, getting dressed, bathed, food and anything else that comes along. Over the past few days he has been in A LOT more pain than usual. I think it has something to do with the healing his back is going through and the weather we are experiencing. I just need to pay close attention to how Kevin is feeling if I want to know the weather is about to change here.
The stress level is through the roof for me right now. I am trying to keep it together and not run from the building screaming, but the thought some times sounds almost exciting. Believe me, I haven't done it yet and I probably never will. I have never been the type of person to just give up and quit. I always stick it out to the end even when it gets tough. Sometimes I wish I wasn't that way. Once I start something I always see it through, no matter the outcome. So, I can forget the idea to run screaming.
There are a few things that add to my stress level. I'm beginning to think they are trying to try my patients or flat out kill me with the things that have happened today. So, this morning started out pretty slow. I got the boys up and off the work, Lexi off to school, and then Kevin had breakfast. Then he took a little nap and I started the dishes. Then Kyle came home from work and wanted to buy us lunch. Who can refuse a free lunch, right??? Well, Kevin was hurting and didn't want anything to eat. Just a drink. By the time I the food got here for me, I didn't touch it either. I just didn't feel like eating at the time.
By this point Kevin had mentioned that his Mom had called. Apparently she had been to her eye appointment and they think she had macular degeneration in her eyes. She had Lasik surgery a few years back and was doing quite well. Her vision had improved and she didn't need to wear glasses...all was well. She was going in for a possible cataract issue that eventually would need a procedure to correct. BUT, apparently NOT. She has a follow-up appointment with a specialist to see if there is anything they might possibly do to help the situation. From what my MIL says, she has a 60% chance of going blind soon. She also said she has the rapid kind because her eyes were a lot better about 6 weeks ago. She didn't want to bother Kevin with all the details, but Kevin insisted on her telling him. He is not the type to get a call from his mother crying and freaking out and not make her tell him. You see, she didn't want to add more to his burdens, which I can understand. At the same time, it would have been more of a burden if she didn't tell him and he would have made me pack him up in the car and take him to her house. Which would not have been a good idea. Remember, he is not to get up except for some light walking around the house and maybe one trip to the mailbox WITH assistance.
I too talked to my MIL this evening. She is better now. I tried to get her to let me go with her to the doctor's appointment, but she didn't want me to. We could have arranged for someone to be here with Kevin for an hour or for someone to go with her other than me, if she wanted. She didn't want any of that. I just don't want her to have another moment where she is stressed out, alone and crying, and away from home again, and have to get herself home. Believe me, I know how that feels. I remember feeling that way when we found out Lexi had to have open heart surgery when she was 5 years old. To this day I do not know how I got Lexi and I home from the doctor's office that day because I was a wreck! Crying and driving are not a good combination.
Then Lexi came home from school and I had to get her to a 4 p.m. therapy appointment for her hand. This was her first day of therapy, so I took her just to make sure she and the office had everything they needed. You know, insurance, co-pay, forms filled out and signed correctly. Once they had her back in their office, it was maybe 10 minutes since she went back, I get a call from Curtis. He needed to be picked up from work. So, off I went to pick him up. When I got there Curtis was no where to be found and wouldn't answer his phone. So, I text and text and text, until I had to get back to pick up Lexi. I was driving for about 5 minutes and then Curtis calls. I made him wait until I got Lexi. When I got back to the therapy office Lexi was still in the back. The lady at the front desk then set up appointments for the next couple weeks and we talked about the fact that I can just drop Lexi off to her next appointments and if I run a little late picking her up, they will just put her to work folding towels or something until I get there. They know the situation with Kevin and his recent back surgery. The lady at the front desk said I think Mom needs to be scheduled for therapy, but not this kind. Another kind. I totally agree!!!
Once Lexi and I were back in the car I ran and picked up Curtis. We came home and Kyle had plans to go out with his girlfriend, which was fine. I made dinner. (Grilled cheese sandwiches) Then Kevin wanted to get a shower. So we got him in the shower. He was in there for maybe 10 minutes and then I saw the water coming out from under the door of the bathroom. You see once Kevin is in the shower, I try to give him a little privacy to do his thing now. Everyone needs at least 5 or 10 minutes to themselves. Even if they did just have major back surgery. Well, leaving him alone for even that long might not have been a good idea. When I opened the door, there was Kevin with just a towel wrapped around him, gripping his walker, and standing in about half an inch of water. The toilet had overflowed. Thankfully nothing but water was in the toilet, but still......YUCK!!! So, I quickly got Kevin to his bed with his towel and his walker and we got him dressed. He then started to cry. He is in so much pain and he thought I was stressing out about the water and he couldn't get himself dressed. I felt so bad. Curtis and I got the water cleaned up and immediately determined what the issue was with the toilet.
Then the dog has been going completely nuts ever since Danielle moved out. He follows me around like a little puppy. Then he wants to go outside every 5 minutes. I do believe it is time to get him fixed. He is just over a year old and it is time. Danielle plans to get it done in the next couple of weeks. In the mean time we are dealing with one silly dog. Honestly, I think he just misses his Mommy and Grandma is nice, but she is not Mom, which I totally understand.
AND, of course the added paperwork and forms to fill out for our attorney. I hardly have time to get myself showered and dressed these days, much less help Kevin complete these silly forms. What the heck! Then they want dates of things that happened 15 years ago. I can barely remember my own name, much less what happened 15 years ago. Not to mention Kevin, who is under the influence of A LOT of pain medication. Believe me, they will know all of this by the time I am done filling out their forms. ARG!
AND THEN, work for me???!!!! Oh wow! Yes, I NEED to get back to work. I so need to get back to work. We aren't going to survive on air. I have to get to work. BUT I can't leave Kevin either. So, what do I do?
I know what you are thinking. Yes, I should get some help. As you know, our children are doing what they can around their work and school schedules. Kevin's Mom has been helping, but she is limited to the things she can do. She has her own pending back surgery coming up some time, as well as her recent eye issues. My parents have been dealing with some health issues of their own too. My mother fell and broke her arm, and hurt her back at the beginning of this year. When she hurt her back she messed it up good. So, she is dealing with her own back pain. As well as osteoporosis now too. Our Bishop has asked what they could do to help, but really, there isn't much. The Relief Society (a women's group within our church) has offered to bring meals in a couple days a week, but I turned them down. Not because we couldn't use them or would appreciate them. Believe me, we would absolutely appreciate them. I just felt that with our schedule it would be better that we not do that. Besides, half the time we eat dinner at different times each day. Not to mention trying to keep track of every ones dishes when they bring over food. That to me is more stressful than them preparing the meal. Not to mention trying to come up with a good time to have them dropped off. Especially right now. I just feel like I cannot take on one more thing. I am doing all I can to just keep things even keel right now. One more thing will certainly throw me over the edge. I teeter on the edge right now. Just ask my family. LOL!
I need to go, forms are calling, I need to check on Kevin. Lexi needs to get to bed, and laundry is waiting to be moved from the washer to the dryer. On a positive note, the swelling in my hand and on the side of my foot went down. AND, can it please rain??? I would so love it to rain right now. That would be a glorious thing!!! AND.... my SIL will be stopping by our house to let us meet our new little nephew! We are so excited. I can't believe my SIL is out and about all ready. She had a C-section for crying out loud! She too should be taking it easy. But I am excited! I can't wait to hold him. :)