Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Who pays for the Wedding Flowers???

Have you ever visited a florist for wedding flowers, and been informed that the bride's family pays for the bridesmaid bouquets, the groom's boutonniere, and the cake flowers, and the groom's family pays for the bridal bouquet, wedding corsages for the mothers and the grandmothers, and the groomsmen boutonnieres?

I have been doing wedding flowers for many, many years now.  In fact, I do not recall EVER discussing who pays for what with any potential wedding party/customer/bride!  EVER!!!  In fact, each and every time I have done wedding flowers, it has been the bride and her family that I have dealt with when it comes to the flowers.  NEVER the groom and his family!  

In fact, I was taken back a bit when my sister-in-law informed me the other day that it was the groom's family that payed for the wedding flowers.  Mind you, I did the flowers for each of her daughter's and never once heard that the groom was paying for the flowers....until this last wedding for her son.  In fact, I never heard about the groom paying for the wedding flowers until my other nephew informed me of that when he got married and his mom did their wedding flowers.  Personally, I do not care who pays for the flowers.  Each time, my in-laws have received my family discount, so it really doesn't matter.  Even if it was the grooms paying, I still would have given the discount simply because it was family getting married.  Whatever arrangement my in-laws had worked out with the groom's families is totally up to them.

  Usually a florist can give you the breakdown of who traditionally should pay for what when it comes to the flowers, but that doesn't mean you have to do it that way!!  Maybe you have all decided that you and your fiance will take care of the flower budget, or maybe his parents will put some money towards the flowers.  If you really want to split things up financially speaking according to your florist's guidelines, then by all means, go for it.


There are no hard and fast rules about tradition dictating that the groom pays for the bride's bouquet, boutonnieres for the groomsmen and/or ushers, and for the fathers, corsages for the mothers, and if there are grandparents present, the groom pays for boutonnieres and corsages for them too.


There are no hard and fast rules about the bride's family traditionally paying for all reception and church flowers, bridesmaid bouquets, and the flower girl flowers.

Forget the rule that says certain people have to pay for certain things!  The bride's parents do not need to take out a third mortgage on their home to pay for a wedding, and the groom's parents are not off the hook either!  Besides, this day and age, the bride and groom might cover a good chunk of the expenses themselves.  My suggestion....sit down with paper and pen and maybe even a calculator and determine what you really want and can afford. Keep in mind informal weddings are usually smaller and cheaper than say large formal weddings.  

If you are wanting to go the "traditional" route, here is a list of the traditional costs for everyone.  BUT, remember these so called "rules" can be broken.  After all, this is YOUR wedding day and whatever you want and decide on, goes.

Bride and family pay for the church 
Groom and family pay for the marriage license and officiant's fee

Bride and family pay for the bride's dress, veil, accessories, and trousseau (honeymoon clothing)
Groom and family pay for the groom's clothing
All attendants pay for their own clothing and shoes.

Bride and family pay for the arrangements for the church and reception, plus bouquets and corsages for the bridesmaids and flower girls.
Groom and family pay for the bride's bouquet and going-away corsage, boutonnieres for men, and corsages for mothers and grandmothers.

Groom and family pay for the complete honeymoon

Bride and family pay for all wedding photos and video.

Bride or Groom's family plans and hosts engagement parties; if there is more than one, bride's family hosts the first one.
Groom's family plans and hosts the rehearsal dinner.
Bride plans and hosts bridesmaids luncheon.
Groom hosts and plans bachelors' dinner
Maid of honor and bridesmaids host the shower.
Best men and ushers host the bachelor party
Friends may throw additional engagement parties or showers.

Bride and family pay for all professional services, including food, drinks, decorations, and music.

Bride and/or her family pay for the groom's ring
Groom and/or his family pay for both of the bride's rings.

Bride and family pay for invitations, announcements, and wedding programs

Bride and family pay for wedding transportation of the bridal party to and from ceremony and reception.

Here are a few other things I have found that might help with the planning of your wedding...

 This first chart, I thought was interesting.  Check it out....

We are planning for Temple Weddings in our family.  In the traditional LDS Temple wedding, the bridal party does not walk down the isle.  Some might think, how tragic, but it really isn't.  In my opinion, a Temple wedding is very special, and I wouldn't have it any other way.  BUT, sometimes things don't always work out the way we plan, so here is the "traditional" wedding processional....  

I thought this was interesting.  It gives you some ideas of how to save money with your wedding planning...

This next one if helpful if you have about a year to plan.  Most LDS weddings take place within 6 months of the proposal, usually sooner than that.  Kevin came home from his mission on August 1st, and  proposed to me on August 4th 1987, and we were married November 14, 1987.  AND my father was not working at the time.  It was hard!!  BUT we did it!  Lucky  for us, I bought my own dress and flowers.  My mother is a cake decorator and made my huge cake!!  We had a cake....ALL cake, none of that Styrofoam stuff!  Each layer was a different kind of cake.  There were 9 tiers.  It was a work of art!  Then Kevin's family friend was a photographer, we borrowed all kinds of plants, and  the church where we had the reception was free.  We each had one attendant.  One of my friends was the maid of honor and we let her pick out the dress she wore.  I didn't want her having to wear a dress she didn't like.  My mom made my sister's dresses.  They were really cute.  We asked the family to just wear the colors of the wedding.  Blue for Kevin's family and dusty rose for my family.  When I remember those months and weeks of planning I still cannot believe we did it!  Money was so tight.  And we did it in 3 months time.  I still do not know how my parents pulled that off, but they did.  It was nothing short of amazing and I am very grateful for everything my parents did.  What mattered most to me was that all the people we wanted to be there, were there.  
So, again....if you have a year to plan, this next chart might be helpful.

This next chart is great for any party planning and the tables...

These next two are all about the cake.  Cake can be a lot of fun.  There are several options with cake.  You can have a Styrofoam cake for all the layers except the top for the bride and groom to cut, and then serve sheet cakes from a local bakery.  That is a great idea and cost effective.  You could do cupcakes.  I have seen it where there were separate cakes at each of the guest tables around the room, and the bride and groom went to each table to cut the cakes and thank the guest for coming to the reception, instead of a receiving line.  Great idea, right?  I liked it, but my daughter hated that idea.  She isn't a fan of the receiving line either.  So I don't know what we are going to do when the time comes for her to get married.  It should be interesting.

Here are a couple reception layouts I found too....  These are just basic layouts.  Your options are limitless.  I remember one time we attended a reception at an LDS Stake Center where half of the room was roped off.  The receiving line was on one half of the room and the other half was where the tables were.  AND the food tables were scattered all throughout the table side of the room.  It was my first experience with the shabby chic style.  I loved it!  So, think outside of the box, something no one else has done.  Change things up a bit.  You don't have to do what everyone else has done.  Use your creativity.  

These are great for the typical LDS wedding the cultural hall.  Just to give you an idea of the venue.  This is what some LDS cultural halls look like.  

It's basically a gym, but we use it for everything.  So, you can understand what a task it can be to decorate this huge room.  The one in the photo must be a stake center, because it's huge!  The fact that this room is basically a gym explains why most people try to cover it up a bit like this...with the drop ceiling.   
This first one, I wish I had a better photo.  I think I could like this one because it looks light and you don't feel like you are in a cave or a sea of white.

Did you know there is even a drop ceiling kit you can purchase???  Who knew???!!!
If you do an Internet search for wedding ceiling kit you will get all kinds of options.  They range in price from about $99.00 to $200.00, depending on what you want and where you purchase the kit from.  The kits also come with instructions on how to do this.  So, the kits are not a bad idea.  

Some people just go straight across the room with the fabric using heavy duty wire from the home improvement store, and simply drape the fabric or plastic over the wire.  You can buy big bolts of this stuff that is almost like plastic from places like Oriental Trader online.  That's what my brother and sister-in-law used for their last daughter's wedding reception.  It was a great idea and probably cost effective too. 

Here is another one....with the center being the focus here.  This one looks a little low and gives the cave and see of white effect I am not fond of.

This next photo is one of the better drop ceilings I have ever seen.  Very pretty.  It's light, it covers the room, yet it doesn't make you feel like you are in a sea of white or in a cave.  Whoever put this one together did a great job.  I love it!!!

All in all, as you can tell......I am not a big fan of a drop ceiling unless you use sheer fabric and lights like the photo above.  I'm not a fan of covering the entire room all in white either.  Frankly, I think it's too much.  Not to mention the fact that this is a lot of work!  Sure, I want to help add to the feeling of the wedding, and make a cultural hall look less like a gym...I'm just not sure about the sea of white.  Who knows, my daughter might be a fan of this, and we may end up doing exactly this someday.  You just never know.  Honestly, if we do end up with this, I hope we can make it look like the photo above.  OR come up with another way OR.....better yet, a different venue all together.  I like the different venue idea.  We will see what happens.  My daughter will soon be 26 and my other daughter will be 15 soon.  My oldest daughter has been more focused on her education than dating.  In fact, she went on a first date last night.  She will kill me for even mentioning this.  So, wedding plans for this family are not even in the picture these days, so I live vicariously through my nieces and nephews as I help them with their plans.  Or bug the crap out of them because I have an weddings.  It's become a problem.  Seriously, just ask my family.   

 Anyway, there you have it....some wedding flower, a little wedding planning, and a little wedding decorating advice. 
 I hope this was a little helpful to you with whatever plans you may have.  Happy planning.
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