Kevin finally gave me the okay to share this...
Tuesday he had an appointment with his doctor to discuss a few things. (I didn't get to go with him) In a nutshell the doctor said that he could not life more that 15 pounds ever. He also said that if he re-injures his back again it will most likely result in permanent paralysis. Another words, he shouldn't keep doing the kind of work that he does. We had no idea. We knew his back had issues, and we knew his recovery could take a while. But this was not something we knew.
Now, how do we deal with this new information? It has taken a few days for us to allow this to sink in a little bit. It's been an interesting couple of days that is for sure. Kevin and I both have been a mess. It's one thing for me to cry. I cry for just about anything. But when I see my husband cry it is really hard.
This morning I got up and hit the showers like every other morning. Right after me, Kevin also got in the shower. I finished getting ready for work and I walked back into the bedroom and Kevin was dressed sitting in the edge of the bed in tears. It was all I could do to hold back my own tears. You see Kevin was getting up to go into work to talk about what the doctor told him on Tuesday. His boss is completely understanding, and has been through this whole thing!! As far as bosses go, Kevin's boss is nothing short of
a-MAZ-ing!!! We love that man!!!
So, what we thought would be a huge trial or challenge has started out to be a blessing. I call it one of the benefits of paying a full tithing. These past few months have been rough, but I am determined to make sure tithing gets paid. We need all the blessings we are promised for paying a full tithing more than ever. I will admit that tithing has always been hard for me. It's just one of the things I struggle with all the time. It's hard to have that faith as you sit to pay bills. I had always hoped this would get easier for me as the years went by, but it still remains a struggle. That is why I need Kevin to help me make the right choice sometimes to get our tithing paid.
I can remember one time, when we lived in El Paso, when I had to to turn to Kevin for help as I struggled trying to decide what to do. We only had enough money to either pay all the bills or pay the tithing. There wasn't enough to take care of everything. I explained the situation to Kevin and like he does every single time he said, "Pay the tithing". So, I wrote the check and we went off to church. We gave our tithing envelope to a member of this bishopric right before church. After sacrament Kevin started to feel a little sick to his stomach and he left the church building to go home. While he was dealing with his stomach issues and in the back of our apartment, there was a very loud knock at the door. Kevin thought he would just let it go and whoever was at the door would eventually go away. That didn't happen. Instead the knocking got louder and Kevin began to get a little upset at whoever it was that kept knocking. Kevin went to the door expecting to give the person knocking a piece of his mind, until he found out what the man knocking wanted.
We had this car that had broken down shortly after we moved to Texas. It was parked in our parking spot at the apartment complex. The engine needed to be replaced and we didn't have the money to make the repairs. Luckily Kevin's dad had an old truck he had planned to give to us and he brought it to us in Texas. (Blessing!) The man knocking on the door wanted to buy our old car for well over the amount we could have gotten any other way.
When Kevin came back to the church, to pick us up, he was anxious to tell me what had happened in the time he was at home. You see, we had to get home and call the guy right away. Kevin didn't want to make the decision to sell the old car until he talked to me about it. I, of course, thought we should sell it. The man came back later that night to give us the money and set up a time to pick up the car.
We have seen the blessings that can come from paying a full tithing. We also know that it is best to pay your tithing first before any other bills. It never fails when I pay my tithing first, somehow it becomes easier to deal with all the other things we need to pay or take care of out of our budget. It is amazing how things I need to purchase end up on sale or something happens and someone will give us the item we need or it works out in other ways. It is totally awesome.
Like I said before, tithing is still a struggle for me. I have to work at it all the time. Sad I know, but it is the truth. I have also seen the other side of NOT paying a full tithing. That side I no likey. It is not pretty. It is not good at all. That side is not the side I like to be on at all. Again, my goal is to remain on the right side of paying a full tithing. Not just because I want temporal blessings. But more, because I know that if you are obeying this commandment, all the others seem to fall into place. It is awesome how this works. I find that when I pay a full tithing it is easier to be kinder to my fellow man, it is easier to get to church on Sundays, it is easier to be a good mother, it is easier to do all of the day to day things that come my way.
Paying a full tithing is like going outside in the hot Arizona heat without sunscreen on. With sunscreen you feel the heat, that if for sure, but you can be confident that you will not receive the effects of the harmful rays of the sun, especially if you apply it to all areas. The covering power of the sunscreen will protect you as you bravely endure the hot summer sun. But if you do not apply your sunscreen to all areas and continually apply the sunscreen based on the instructions, you will be burned and have to deal with the the blisters and pain from the sunburn you will for sure receive for not using sunscreen. The same concept occurs when you do not pay a full tithing and continue to do so all the time.
You have to pay your tithing first and do this each and every time you receive an income in order to be blessed by the cover effects that only tithing can offer you.
I will be the first person to tell you that I am not perfect. I am far from it. I have to work at many of the commandments on a regular basis. In fact, I still have to pray to my Heavenly Father for strength and get help from my husband at times when it comes to tithing and many other things. I am not proud to admit that. Kevin and I have been married for over 26 years now. Tithing should not be a struggle for me, but it is. A weakness, sure. Can it become a strength, I sure hope so. Believe me, I wish I didn't struggle with it. There are also times that I have no problem with paying my tithing. Those are some of my favorite moments, humbling moments too. Please remember I am sharing something that is very difficult for me, with you. I do this so as to hopefully help another. I know I cannot be the only person around that has had to struggle with this commandment. I merely hope that something I have shared with help you in some way. Enough said.
"One of the great blessings of tithing is confidence in what future holds. Whatever our circumstances may be, things will work out for the best. As we keep our promises, He will keep His. A feeling of peace is one of the great blessings of paying a full tithe."
--Henry B. Eyring